Back to the review: I feel bad for Wells and Bachalo. This is a team BORN to work on Spider-man. Wells gets the intricacies of the character. The downtrodden hero. The comedy. The madcap idiocy he goes into every single event with.

And Bachalo. Good lord is he an amazing Spidey penciller. I will go on record and say that post JRJR, Bagley, and McFarlane, he is the new Spidey penciller of record. The webs flow all across his body as if part of a symbiote and the character moves and acts like a young man with SPIDER-POWERS. Not someone posing or acting like a hero. He looks goofy and creepy and heroic, all at the same time.

And that is it. The rest of the story has a been there, done that feel to it. There's even a Who ya gonna call reference thrown in for good measure, as if the Ghostbusters references weren't already getting beaten to death.

My ultimate favorite part of this story? The opening credits included a Spidey Brain Trust: Gale, Gugg, Wells, and Slott. Like they're really the ones pushing the character into this heretofore uncharted (HA) territory. Everything has been done before. The idea of making new villains for Spidey to face is good and all: EXCEPT THE NEW VILLAINS SUCK. The Mayan god creature thing will only be in this story-arc, though they hint you might see him again. You won't. Characters come and go throughout the story and we really could care less.

And the finale? Spider-man teams up with a group of hobos, unshaven hobos, which apparently unshavenness and uncleanliness is the ONE SINGLE THING THAT CAN STOP THE MAYAN GOD. Not a Spider-man. Not a Galactus or intergalactic civil war or a nuclear warhead or nuclear winter or an irradiated bite from an elephant. BEARDS.

That's why I'm regrowing my beard. When the Mayan god comes to kill us all, you all might die. But me and Ambrose Burnside over here are going to get out of it unscathed and save the world.

Finally: This book, as I've said a billion times and will say until my voice grows hoarse, is pointless. Pete is a douche. His rogues gallery is completely laughable and feature plays from the old playbook glossed up and played with in new ways (Freak is Vermin, minus the hair! Menace is a Goblin-esque character! Jackpot is Black Cat part Deux! Mr. Negative is the Jackal/Hammerhead!). What a waste. I can only hope that the X-men revamp doesn't feature all of the same, all of the same, all of the same. They should have told Marvel that a Jack of All Trades is a Master of None, because that is unfortunately where Spider-man is sitting currently and there are a LOT of good creators being wasted.