|
|
|
If you're
well-versed in horror fiction you've probably
heard the name Edward Lee before. People rave
and talk about him a lot because of his
"explosive sex" and "nasty, disgusting gore" and
he's one of those writers who isn't afraid to
offend people and splatter the pages of his
novels with atrocious and horrible things. Given
all that, I just had to check out one of his
books (his most recent) and see what all the
hype was about. "Brides of the Impaler" was
published this year by Leisure Horror, the mass
market paperback company responsible for
churning out the majority of the new horror on
the market. Right from the beginning of the
book, I could see why people rave about this
guy. His book was full of svelte attractive
women walking around nude and fucking their
boyfriends, and there were hints of vampirism
and ancient evil all intertwined with these
scenes, and I was being drawn in, but I still
wasn't convinced that I would enjoy the ride.
See, I have no problem with nudity and sex (it
has saved many an otherwise unsalvageable
exploitation flick) and I love gore, but man
cannot live on tits and blood alone... I need
some substance; some good storytelling thrown in
there to make the read worthwhile, and I wasn't
sure if Lee was going to be able to deliver that
or if his book would end up being all flash and
no substance. |
I think with Edward
Lee, you either love him or you hate him, and
for awhile there I thought I was going to fall
into the latter category. It's not that the guy
can't write. In fact, that's what's infuriating
about his books, he is obviously talented, but
he gets in his own way so much that it's hard to
see his talent. For instance, his characters are
pretty despicable people. The men in this book
treat the women like kept objects, and I know
that sounds like I'm being overly sensitive, but
I'm serious, it got under my skin. The main
character's boyfriend says things like "he saw
the crumbs on the floor in the kitchen and got a
little perturbed, but then he thought about how
she fucked him last night and he thought, 'never
mind, she can mess the house up as much as she
wants, I'll hire a maid.'" Or another time, the
winner thinks "Now that I've got her out of her
shell, I've got everything, a hot girlfriend, a
good job, a gorgeous house, I'm truly an alpha
male" and he muses about how virile and
masculine he must be to be master of his domain
like this while he's walking around his house
naked. He does this macho bullshit shtick over
and over until I wanted to vomit. Both the lead
male characters talk about "their women" this
way and it makes them sound like cavemen. As for
the lead character, she puts herself down all
the time. She's constantly thinking things like
"I'm so stupid and crazy, I'm bringing everyone
down with my bad mood, I'm lucky Paul puts up
with me." After awhile you want to throttle her
because Paul is a fucking tool who treats her
like shit, and even her closest girl friend
treats her like she's stupid and flighty and
between these two things, it's no wonder this
chick has little to no self esteem. It's
seriously sickening to read.
The horrendous treatment of the women isn't the
only difficult thing to swallow about this book.
It's ridiculous how long terrible supernatural
things are happening before anyone begins to
suspect that something is wrong. Hey, our new
house is possessed of a strong power that
hypnotizes us and makes us have mind-blowing
sex, but we don't think there's anything unusual
about that, and yeah, we keep seeing shadowed
figures with fangs in the closets, but that must
be a trick of the light, and yeah, our wives dug
up the basement one day and found ancient
artifacts covered with Latin and Romanian
scrawling, but I'm sure nothing is going on
that's weird; I mean, this happens all the time,
right? God I wanted to smack them! How fucking
long is it going to take you to realize
something is going on here? The answer? Until
the last ten pages of the book. Jesus CHRIST you
people are stupid. And of course, the one they
treat like a flighty idiot is the only one who
sees something wrong with all of this, but she
thinks she's just crazy and imagining
everything, even when blatantly supernatural
things start happening around her. It's enough
to make discerning readers tear their hair out.
But by far the thing that pissed me off the most
about this book was the way Lee writes about
sex. Instead of using "pussy" or "cunt" or
"twat" or "clit" or some normal word for a
woman's genital area, he says "her sex." I know
that sounds like a small quibble, but imagine
reading a long three page sex scene full of this
bullshit: "He stroked her sex and plunged into
her sex and she felt sensations running through
her sex and her sex had never felt this way
before" and after awhile I'm practically
screaming OH MY GOD use A DIFFERENT WORD! He
sounds like a twelve year old afraid mommy will
lean over his shoulder and see what he's
writing! If you're going to write about
something, use a different word every once in
awhile (and don't call it "her sex," seriously,
who in fuck talks that way? What about that
makes you think it's going to sound erotic?) He
even calls a woman's vagina her "most private
place" once, and as stupid as that sounds, I was
relieved to just get a break from "her sex" for
awhile. Look, I'm not asking you to use THE
DREADED V WORD, because that would indeed sound
too clinical, but I know you're not twelve,
Edward Lee, and I know you've had sex before, so
we can stop pussyfooting around and writing
about things like we're giggling middle
schoolers, can't we? Say it with me, Edward.
CLIT. LABIA. CUNT. PUSSY. TWAT. You can do it, I
promise. I don't know if you're trying to be
inoffensive by using "her sex" in these
sentences, but you're writing a book about
reincarnated vampires who impale people on
sharpened broomsticks, you can be offensive
every once in awhile, I promise.
Here's the thing, though. I've just written an
impressive polemic of this novel, and I really
wanted to tear my hair out on more than one
occasion, but I still couldn't put it down. The
gore is plentiful and often disturbing, even for
me, and I've seen everything. The characters are
despicable and unlikable to the extreme, but
most of them die gruesome deaths, so it's ok.
Even Lee's sex scenes even out near the end, and
I think the trick is that when characters are
thinking "positively" about sex, they use words
like "he thrust into her sex" (or "her most
secret special place" if you prefer) but once
they've given over to the depravity, they
abandon such niceties. I think the trick here is
that Lee needs to realize he's at his best when
he's treating sex like a nasty thing and stop
going all Harlequin romance novel on us with his
ridiculous wording. His talent is for the sick
and depraved, and he does that very well.
And I mean that. I bitched about how the men
treated the women in their relationships, but by
the end of the novel, it's almost as if Lee was
in on that joke and he did it on purpose. It's
as if he's saying that relationships aren't real
or uplifting and worthwhile, people DO treat
each other like shit this way, the only time
they seem happy is when they're denying
themselves and changing for someone else, and
it's not worth it. Cynical, but hell, I can't
say there aren't times I agree with him, and in
terms of the dark world he's created here, it
works. Just when we think everything's going to
wrap up in a "happily ever after with my
emotionally abusive virile masculine man"
package, the book does an abrupt 180 degree turn
and suddenly nothing is as it seems, and it
works, and I really appreciated it. I can see
why people would go gaga over his writing; the
man has talent. I wish more people would point
out his flaws, though, because I think if he
ironed out his prose, he could have some near
flawless depraved horror fiction here, but as it
stands, this book is frustrating and at times
infuriating, but it's well worth the read. |
|
