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Hey kids, it’s
another found footage horror film! After watching “Cloverfield,” “Diary
of the Dead,” “[REC]”, and “Paranormal Activity,” I was more than ready
to welcome yet another found footage film onto my palette, and I can
safely say that “Chronicles of an Exorcism” not that movie. Director
Nick G. Miller’s horror film presumes to be a genuine account of an
exorcism but I doubt anyone will be convinced of that at any such time,
for the fact that the movie hardly ever feels like a realistic account.
Every single actor delivers every single line with a halted melodramatic
pitch that immediately eliminates any attempts at bringing realism to
the table. When all is said and done it just feels like a story that
would have been better left for a live action format, and not a found
footage gimmick. The director can never even seem to convince us that
this situation is harrowing enough to keep us on edge, as Miller borrows
from films like “The Exorcism of Emily Rose,” “Evil Dead,” and yes, oh
yes, “The Exorcist.”
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What’s
possessing this woman? Why is she so special? Why does
Erin’s father conveniently know about the demons possessing
her? And why do these guys insist on making a documentary
about something they admit on the outset will be denied by
the church? Because… it’s a movie. And if they
changed their minds, we wouldn’t have it. And that would be
a personal loss. With the found footage gimmick you have to
argue that what we’re seeing is real, or has the potential
to be real and Miller can never understand that. |
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The camera footage
never looks like its coming from a camcorder, the sound is always
crystal clear, and the dialogue is just atrocious. In one instance,
character Erin screams in a demonic voice, “I have met your god!” to
which Father Michael laughs like he’s performing at a Shakespeare
community theater and declares: “You have no idea of my god!” And as the
priests sanity begins to fade, Miller slowly runs out of excuses to use
the camera to the story's advantage. As Father Lucas opts to talk to
Father Michael alone, he insists, "I'd like to speak with him alone.
Leave the camera on so we can document it but leave us alone." Uh...
that's realistic! Right...? I wanted to enjoy what Miller places on the
plate for fans of the found footage fad, but alas, “Chronicles of an
Exorcism” leaves very little to appeal to anyone after experiencing the
likes of the aforementioned sub-genre offerings. And you’ll see the
“surprise” ending coming from miles away.
Hey, it just goes
to show that they can’t all be winners, eh? “Chronicles of an Exorcism”
is an admirable, but otherwise very ill-conceived effort at the found
footage sub-genre, and one that will fail to convince you that it’s even
remotely genuine. What a shame.
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