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CLERKS II
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We get it, Kevin. Smith’s “edge” is noticeably MIA in his cash-in—er—sequel, and it shows painfully. “Clerks” was supposedly a very independent film that’s lost it all in this ironically mainstream cash-in. Now “Clerks 2” has a story, and a sappy one about Dante’s infatuation with his boss on the eve of his departure to Florida where he plans on marrying his girlfriend Emma. Along the way we’re exposed to many a pop culture debate, three musical montages, and worst of all, Smith turns his indie comedy into a fucking romance comedy. Another romance comedy! I hate romance comedies! I mean, let’s break it down: The love interest, the moment where he realizes he loves her with a far off gaze, his best friend telling him "You love her, admit it!", the proposal scene that's both dramatic and funny, and the montage that lets you know "Everything turned out fine". I'm just thankful we didn't see pictures of their baby. And Smith basically kicks his fans in the balls by adhering to Hollywood archetypes and turns his career making film into another cookie cutter romantic comedy that has a happy ending where our hero goes off into the sunset. Oh don’t pretend I ruined anything for you, Smith is completely cliché here.
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Why doesn’t Randal have his own film? I mean sure Dante is the straight
man in the duo, but I want Randal to have his own spin-off, because he
saves this film. Anderson as Randal saves the film, he steals the film,
and he makes this worth watching over and over again. If Smith is any
kind of writer, he’ll find something for Randal to have all his own even
if it has to be another sequel. Suffice it to say, Smith’s dialogue is
great at certain moments when it’s not purposely setting the scene up
for a pop culture debate or examination. The moments where our
characters are just communing among one another and discussing life make
“Clerks 2” a goldmine for observational humor, including a hilarious
argument about saying Porch Monkey. And then there are the golden
moments of pure comedy that had me in tears. There’s the “Silence of the
Lambs” spoof which was a mixture of disturbing and laugh out loud funny,
and the predictable turned hysterical debate of the “Star Wars” versus
“Lord of the Rings” with Randal against Ringers, and the delivery is
just entertaining and kurt. Smith pins the character dialogue well, and
I wish there was more of that here. “Clerks 2” also manages to redeem
itself in the second half actually focusing on the relationship between
Dante and Randal, and I enjoyed it and the way Smith closed out his
franchise. Until he needs more money.
“Shit, now where am I going to brings girls to fuck?” asks Randall upon
witnessing the video store in flames. Gee, how utterly hip, edgy, and
hard rock of him to say. Oh Smith, “How doth thou sucketh”, said the
lord. Hey, I enjoyed the “Clerks” animated series, but alas that’s as
far as my love goes for the “Clerks” franchise extends. The first one
was an entertaining albeit mediocre comedy and then movie fans
proceeded, and continue to give Smith a continuous hand job in terms of
his career that has continued well into his thirties, and “Clerks II” is
a listless sequel with the usual cast appearances and pop culture gags
that drop like a deflated balloon.
And a man running out of ideas (“Don’t look at his wee wee”? Pfft!).
Smith sadly de-evolves much of the groundwork he laid for “Clerks” and
its characters and then, like a game of Jenga, smashes it all down by
basically setting them up as typical Hollywood concepts; and he seems to
be taking pages from “Garden State”. 
