This movie drew me in at the beginning, even if I didn't want it to.  No, seriously, I was kicking back with this smug smirk on my face, crossing my arms over my chest and practicing my evil movie reviewer tone while I composed paragraphs bashing this trite, forgettable piece of crap before I even saw it, and then the government started "kidnapping" a group of people from across the world, scientists and an engineer and some other elite group, and transported them to an unknown location, leaving them in the back of a vehicle to speculate why they were needed and how they were connected, and I admit it, my facade fell away and I was hooked.  See, I've seen the trailers for this movie so I figured these people were probably pulled together by the government to study the alien visitor who arrives to warn the planet of coming doom, but the idea of throwing together a small group of people who don't know why they've been taken or what they're supposed to do was a great hook reminiscent of the best episodes of The Twilight Zone, and I admit, the filmmakers did a good thing here.

The movie isn't all bad.  That's the point I want to stress, because you see, underneath my smug movie reviewer facade I am at heart just someone who really really loves movies, and I don't come into them WANTING to hate them, I come into them wanting to be entertained.  I want to enjoy my time at the theater and I want to walk away thinking my money was well spent.  It's when that doesn't happen that I feel cheated and I get angry.  With The Day the Earth Stood Still, the movie almost HAS to be seen in a theater to fully appreciate the experience.  The visuals are so big, the special effects so stunning, the cinematography so epic that the movie would probably suffer even with Blu Ray treatment on a huge HD screen.  I admit, the visuals were fun to watch, the beginning had me hooked, and in spite of myself, I found I was looking forward to seeing the movie unfold.

That's when I was slapped in the face.  Against my better judgment I hoped I would enjoy this movie, and I was let down in such a big way that I came away pissed off and feeling cheated.  I knew everything this movie had working against it, but the beginning tricked me and made me think I was going to see something cool, and then the filmmakers slapped me, kicked me down, and ran away with my money, screaming "Haha, fooled you!"

Where do I start?  First of all, Keanu Reeves can't fucking act.  I hate to be so blunt about it, but it's the truth, and for years I've been waiting for someone else to say it, to no avail.  The dude can't act.  He stands there with the same clueless expression in every movie, talking like a bored high school student forced to recite a script in his literature class, and I'm at a loss as to how he keeps getting movie roles with his extreme lack of talent.  Granted, here he's playing an alien, so his robotic line delivery almost works in his favor, but his lack of expression and emotion grate on me until I want to punch him, and it just doesn't work for me.  I gave him a chance, I saw this movie, and look, he failed, again. 

Jennifer Connelly tries her best with her role, but she's not given much to work with, so we can't really blame her for falling flat.  That great "Twilight Zone" like beginning might have been intriguing, but this isn't The Twilight Zone; some 30 minute television episode that can get away with next to no character development, this is a feature length movie, and we're supposed to give a shit about the people in it, and I just didn't have enough information to care about her character.

 "Oh, another explosion, cool.  NEXT. "The special effects are indeed cool, but like I said, they drown out the rest of the movie since the characters either aren't really developed or they are developed, but they can't fucking act so they can't carry their character.  It's a damn shame too, because the destruction shown in this movie is pretty cool and I wish I could have cared enough to remember it after I left the theater.  Furthermore, while some of the special effects were cool, what is up with depicting one of the biggest plot turning characters out of bad CGI that would have been embarrassing in the 90s?  Seriously.  I know the economy is bad right now, but I had no idea it had affected this movie's budget so badly.  I was rolling with laughter when I should have been riveted with excitement and terror.  I swear, the special effects were better in the original movie and that was made over 50 years ago.  Aren't we in a recession these days?  Can't we find better ways of spending our money than THIS? 

Times of economic and political hardship have always given birth to the best horror and science fiction films, because filmmakers and audiences were reaching for some way to express their fears.  It was a great catharsis.  I see this movie and am reminded again of how the mighty have fallen.  We don't possess any of the poetry or irony that was present in the original.  Think I'm exaggerating?  Give the original a look; even when it was melodramatic and stupid, there was a cadence to the dialogue and the action that resonated with viewers...we get zero of that here, just an alien who is Bill and Ted all rolled into one going, "Dude, you're like, doomed and stuff.  Bummer."  This movie doesn't just disappoint me, it DEPRESSES me.

This movie commits the worst sin: It's good enough in the beginning to give me hope for the rest, but when it falls, it falls HARD and thereafter is so terrible that only the worst moments are memorable enough in their badness for me to recall them once I leave the theater.  Do yourself a favor and rent the original instead.  Even if you don't like it, you're better off than with this crap.  Trust me.