|
Steve Miner
has balls the size of Cleveland. I know, I've seen them. They're on
display here, in the fact that he took on the daunting task of filming a
sequel to the runaway slasher hit "Friday the 13th" (and in how he dared
to film a "remake" of the classic Zombie opus "Day of the Dead..." I
think that movie is a huge pile of shit, but I give kudos to him for
making it even knowing all the flack he'd get from the original movie's
rabid fans). This slasher sequel was made cheaply after Paramount execs
choked on their own vomit seeing how much money they made on the
original Friday the 13th. With those kind of numbers, you knew a sequel
was in store, and so we get this movie. Is it successful? Does it live
up to the name created by the original? Yes and no.
Initially, I hated this movie. I tried watching it twice and fell asleep
both times because I thought it was so boring. It just seemed to be
rehashing everything the first movie did better, and while that is a
valid criticism, the movie does some things very well, which I noticed
when I finally managed to keep my eyes open through its whole running
time. There are some good death scenes on display here. There's a poor
guy in a wheelchair who predictably dies a nasty little death when Jason
rather lazily wheels him to his doom. The spear through the copulating
couple is also a great scene (though that bastard Miner stole it from a
far superior Italian horror flick, I didn't know that at the time I saw
this movie, and I appreciated the effort). The opening sequence of this
movie is creepy if one ignores how stupid it is. All in all, there's
some cool gore on display here, and if you want to see some teens get
picked off, this is one way to achieve that goal.
Ironically, the
criticism applied to the original Friday the 13th, that the movie is
just an excuse to watch some stupid teens die horrible deaths, is far
more applicable to this movie than to that film. Even if that was all
the filmmakers intended with the first film, I found a lot of value in
that movie, whereas this flick merely rehashed scenes other people have
done better and included some original scenes that were just plain
stupid. Take he scene from the first movie where the girl wanders off in
bra and panties to go to the bathroom. While that was stupid, it at
least had a pretense to reality; there was no bathroom in the cabin in
which she was staying, so even though she could and should have peed
outside, she wanted to use the bathroom.
|
Fine. How does the script handle
a similar death scene in the second movie? The girl is about
to have sex when she realizes she left her hairbrush in her
car, so she goes outside in a bra and panties to get
it...um...so why does she want to brush her hair again? So
she can knot it all up again in the throes of passion? That
makes no fucking sense whatsoever, it doesn't even PRETEND
to have a basis in any kind of reality, it just assumes
people watching the movie won't care if it rehashes a death
from the original and makes it dumber. Well you're wrong. I
DO care. |
|
 |
Second, what the fuck does psychology have
to do with anything here? Because one of the characters is a psychology
major, she wants to get inside Jason's head and figure out why he's evil
(but how do they know about Jason? How did the story spread? He wasn't
the killer in the first movie and only one girl survived that film,
what, did she tell everyone in the world so they'd know about Jason for
this movie? It's dumb). Even dumber is how she spend the whole movie
musing about how she wants to know how Jason feels, and then she decides
to use that to defeat him in the end of the movie. That's right kids,
the killer is killed with...psychology! Boo! Are you scared yet? All the
psychobabble did was make me want the movie to be shorter. No wonder I
fell asleep during this movie the first few times I tried watching it.
I could go on and on, but suffice it to say that this is not the most
successful entry into the series. It does nothing but rehash deaths from
the original Friday the 13th (and other movies) and make them much more
boring, and it psychobabbles its way into mediocrity. If you want to be
a completest with your collection you'll probably buy it, and it's not
the worst movie in the world, but it's certainly not anywhere near as
good as the original.
|