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In honor of the upcoming "Clone Wars," on
August 15th, a movie we're actually looking forward to we're ashamed to
admit, we've decided to think inside the box for a while. I mean, we
just admitted we want to see "Clone Wars," we think we should let you
know where we stand as a Star Wars geeks, right? There's really not much
more damage George Lucas can inflict on his universe, after all. And
animation is cost effective, a no lose medium. and there's a ninety nine
percent chance voice actors could do a better job than Hayden
Christensen. Hell, a log can.
Whether we like it or not "The Clone
Wars" is coming, not to mention the animated series, so we figured we'd
just list our top ten Star Wars characters and have some fun with this
impending release. So prepare for the top ten characters of the mythos
as chosen by Felix Vasquez Jr, Chad Jarrah, and "Rot Your Brain" contributor Momar
Van Der Camp!
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Felix's Pick:
Star Killer |
I'll be
honest, I have yet to play "Star Wars: The Force
Unleashed" but my fan boy bone tickles at the aspect
of being able to operate this force power through
the Wii, and play as Darth Vader's apprentice
Starkiller. I don't particularly know this character
beyond what I've seen in the trailers, his back
story on the game, and his role in the new Soul
Caliber games, but I already know that he's becoming
one of my favorite anti-heroes of the mythos
already. From the way he performs combat to his
unusual wielding of the light saber, he's the
offensive Sith who may have to battle for power
against his mentor Darth eventually and what becomes
of his servitude under the Sith is a mystery for me
that I'm looking forward to researching. Darth is
alone when we see him in his confrontation with Luke
Skywalker, and there can only be two Sith warriors,
so what becomes of Starkiller? If anything,
Starkiller will help to seal the gaping hole that
was the whiny Anakin and the dark lord Vader.
Starkiller's merciless pursuit to hunt down the Jedi
may prove to be great fodder for the mythos. And it
should be noted that the original last name for Luke
Skywalker was Luke Starkiller. I'm just saying.
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Felix's Pick:
Yoda |
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If the prequels managed
to accomplish anything, it was the emphasis on
Master Yoda and convincing us of his immense
gravitas and power as the most powerful Jedi who
ever lived. Or one of the most powerful Jedi who
ever lived, that is. Yoda, prior to the prequels,
was a wise and all knowing character who enabled the
movement of a rebellion victory and allowed Luke
some therapy in the process as he faced the
revelation that Darth Vader is his father. He was
the one last strand in the balance of the dark and
light side for Luke and his descent in to the
darkside would have been an easy one, and the
prequels he was a calculating and incredible Jedi
whose own size was constantly a miscalculation in
his abilities as a warrior. One of my favorite
moments, out of the few, from the prequels involves
Yoda's own destruction of the assassination plot put
upon him and his fellow Jedi where he makes quick
work of two Clone troopers and allies himself with
his Wookie friends. Yoda turned from cute and cuddly
to fierce and powerful in only a few movies and he
earned his place on the list thanks to his strong
fight for the Jedi Knights that he ultimately lost.
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Felix's Pick:
Han Solo |
While my enjoyment
for this character has waned over the years what
with his massive neutering in the last part of the
original "Star Wars" trilogy, Solo remains one of
the coolest characters of the original trilogy that
Lucas thankfully didn't under use. In fact he may
have used him a bit too much if you ask
me. If you remember, the original plan was for Solo
to die in "Empire," which would have made a lot of
sense in the long run. His story would have served
as use for inspiration to the rebellion and
motivation for Luke to strike down Vader before
another hero was lost in battle; as a two fold
purpose it also would
have explored how far Luke would go to avenge a
friend. But still, he lives on in the expanded
universe (as far as I know) and continues to be one
of the coolest science fiction characters who
managed to inspire a slew of dashing space heroes,
including his tougher successor, Malcolm Reynolds.
That's right. Malcolm Reynolds would have Solo for
breakfast.
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Felix's Pick:
Darth Maul |
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Maul is only one in a
line of many characters Lucas just didn't use
enough. Perhaps it was his inability to get through
five minutes of the prequels without screwing over a
character we knew or were beginning to know, or
maybe it was his attempts to appeal to children for
fear Maul would scare them, either way, Maul was a
character so intense and fantastic he almost didn't
belong in a Star Wars film. The comic books after
the prequel did all the work for fans who felt
cheated by Lucas. And though many of you may not
want to do all the legwork required to get in to the
depth of Maul's origins, trust me when I say that
there's more to this warrior than meets the eye.
Beyond the expanded universe in which Maul survives
to live as a half Cyborg, Darth Maul is probably one
of the few redeeming traits in "The Phantom Menace,"
a force of unstoppable nature whose own alliance
with the dark side makes him an incredible match for
Padawan Kenobi and his Master Qui Gonn, and Maul
continues to be a tragically misused side note of
the mythos. Lucas fucked it up!
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Felix's Pick:
General Grievous |
| "Revenge of the Sith"
did this character no justice, because if you ever
actually saw the "Clone Wars" animated mini-series
on Cartoon Network you'll see that he was actually a
terrifying villain almost as menacing as Darth
Vader. Intended as a precursor to Vader, Grievous
was part man and part machine, a villain who lost
all sense of the humanity he may have once possessed
but gave himself over to the Darkside to bring about
the downfall of the Jedi. In the "Clone Wars"
cartoons, he battled Mace Windu and lost the fight
to some degree as Windu used his force grip to crush
his chest plate. That explains why he wheezed so
much in "Revenge of the Sith." But sadly, Lucas
wrote himself in to a corner asking us to believe
Windu couldn't stop Grievous but an out of the gates
Jedi Knight like Kenobi could. In spite of Lucas's
talent for under using potentially amazing
characters in the mythos, Grievous is still a great
villain whose four arms make him an almost
impossible match against a Jedi. In the "Clone Wars"
cartoons we see the unstoppable Sith borg battle
four Jedi Masters and win, to which he faces off
against one last master with four Light Sabers, and
a fifth on his foot, which he balances during the
fight with ease. It's a startling sight to behold.
Lucas fucked it up! |
You Will Go to the Next
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