I mean
with respect to Gore De Vol and Penny Dreadful, without
a doubt my favorite horror host of all time is Joe Bob
Brigs, a surly and veritably undeniable force of nature.
He was one who didn't need gimmicks and or a costume to
please his audience. Joe Bob Briggs presented the new
wave of horror hosting. To where fun individuals like
Dreadful and De Vol dressed up and engaged in props and
plays for their audience, Briggs always seemed very
aware of his mortality.
He almost seemed to do the job
with one foot out the door. And surely enough TNT
broadcasting station in America made sure to remind him
he could go off the air at any moment, even putting him
in a hiatus for a few months, and airing his show a few
hours late thanks to their basketball programming. I
think the reason why I mourn Mr. Briggs so much and Monstervision so hard is because it was a sign of the
end of an era. It was the sign that horror hosts and
gimmicks were no longer a part of television and that
networks were changing.
Even in
cable. Around the mid-to-late nineties there was TNT's
Monstervision with the host du jour Joe Bob Briggs
hosting a double feature. And then if you had time you
could go to the USA and watch Up All Night. This block
consisted of a hostess airing soft core porn sans the
sex and boobs and or sleazy bikini laden horror films
from the eighties that very few people ever saw for
themselves. Or vice versa. Who knows?
But
with TNT buying the basketball franchises, Ted Turner
branching out in to mainstream fare, and the growing
marketability of syndication becoming a lucrative
prospect, there just wasn't room for men like Joe Bob
Briggs to stomp around in anymore. Which is not to say
he didn't have anything to fall back on. While Penny
Dreadful and De Vol were and are still around thanks to
their domination of the free internet waves, Briggs took
to his own form of media authoring many books and
novels, going on speaking tours, appearing in some truly
low budget horror films, and the like.
But in
spite of the fact that Briggs is still doing damn good,
I miss Monstervision. I miss it dearly. I miss staying
up late to watch a double bill. I miss falling asleep on
and off during the double bill just trying to stay awake
to hear Briggs wax poetic about the movie being played.
I miss a lot of his antics and witty commentary about
god knows what. I love his one commentary about single
moms after announcing the birth of Adrienne Barbeau's
babies at the age of 51. I miss the off camera notes and
murmuring that went on that usually resulted in
something disastrous.
For one, Briggs could never get a
hold of the entire "Friday the 13th" series, and for
another he always had to be censored and or muffled.
During an airing of "Ghoulies" I could still recall
Briggs being told to stop calling the midgets in the
film midgets, and Briggs expressing anger at not being
able to host "Fargo" for the network.
Monstervision was like watching movies with
your best friend and Joe Bob Briggs was
always the down home gent who was cynical
about every single movie, but only to the
point where it was amusing and worth
listening to.
He could point out flaws in every movie, and
knew how to throw out his own philosophical observations
about films like "Return of the Living Dead." And who
can forget his Drive-In Totals? These tallies and
estimates granted him and the audience a score card of
kills and T&A to look out for, all of which were mostly
skewed thanks to television editing. He expressed great
sadness at not being able to spy on Linnea Quigley's fine breasts for the
"Return of the Living Dead" screening. And he had a
damn good sense of humor about himself. He
still does. He knew how to deal with
slightly out whack guests and was never
above hob knobbing with big cult stars like
Linnea Quigley with whom he shared a deep
fondness for her boobs thanks to her star
making turn in "Return of the Living Dead"
as Trash.
And you
had to love his good humor during his interview with
Rowdy Roddy Piper who had a propensity for mocking the
good Joe Bob's accent and Southern attire and his
inability to speak directly in to the camera to
challenge an opponent. All in all, the interview stands
as one of the best, and Piper let loose on many facts
including his incapability to keep up with Keith David
during fight training for "They Live." Plus there are
moments of great awe where Joe Bob was able to interview
Ms. Tippi Hedren from "The Birds" in an extra long
Monstervision--or whatever the show was called at the
time of its airing. Thanks TNT. When
Monstervision went off the air in the early millennium
the horror conglomerate and movie loving bunch of goons
that pretended to hate Joe Bob mourned the loss of
Monstervision.
With cable now less about catering to
specific tastes and more about throwing whatever random
crap you can find while saving money, Monstervision is a
fixture of late night Saturday cable that many horror
and film aficionados still long for and want with
immense zeal. I doubt it would hurt anyone to cut four
hours off of Law & Order repeats just to show Joe Bob
back at his old tricks again. That's not too much to ask
for, and it's not like his show required a big budget.
But he's not suffering, and we can take
solace in that.
Joe Bob's a
celebrity without many knowing and often
times without anyone else knowing as is
witnessed by his assistant's inability to
remember Briggs was in "The Stand." This exchange is one of the funniest moments on Monstervision
to date. Joe Bob or John Irving Bloom is
still one of the primary go to sources of
knowledge, and information from the
independent horror film circuit, and he's
still a man people pay attention to and will
buy literature from. You can't keep a good
horror geek down, that's for goddamn sure.
Briggs the last of his
kind, he was a personality who is aware of his imminent
death as a TV host and he proved that through his ahead
of its time internet contests, and letter readings that
he took great joy in making in to gags for his non-sequitors.
I love
Monstervision I miss it to death. And when TNT is
playing a thousand episodes of NAVY NCIS or Law & Order,
we'll be thinking of you guys, the ones who made the
thousandth viewing of Godzilla oh so much fun to watch
yet again.
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