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10.
SLACK
Land of the Dead
Status:
Alive
My first
impulse was to add Pilsbury, but since he was only a one
note character, I added Slack, not because I'm in love
with Asia Argento, but basically because this list is
mysteriously void of "Dead" heroines--not counting
Savini's "Dead" remake because of Barbara's
rapid unrealistic transformation from whining baby to
gun wielding warrior.
Romero's "Dead" films are filled with heroines that
never have any courage or strength. Barbara was a
whining baby, Francine was basically useless even before
she was with baby, and Sarah was really only a moral
center. Slack was a great heroine, even if she was an
underused entity in Romero's "Land of the Dead", mainly
because she was set up as this woman who wanted to be a
soldier with the rest of the group but was relegated to
being only a mere prostitute because of her gender and
then fed to the lions in one of the more exciting
sequences in "Land".
Her
meeting with Riley was an accident and then she became
one of the group sent out to retrieve the "Dead
Reckoning" and save Fiddler's Green. Argento's
performance is both sultry and strong as the transformed
soldier who forms a friendship with Charlie and a
partnership with Riley helping the team get to Fiddler's
Green without running into the groups of undead making
their way there like a tank. Argento gives a memorable
performance and joins the small group of "Dead" heroines
who could hold their own against the walking dead.
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9.
CHARLIE
Land of the Dead
Status: Alive
For this
slot, it was either Michael from the "Dawn" remake,
or Charlie, and I chose well. Charlie is a mentally
disabled man with a huge scar on his face from the
obvious effects of the apocalypse and he's capable
of surviving. Here's a naive mentally disabled man
who survived beyond everyone else, here's a mentally
disabled man who isn't smart enough to
defend himself when someone calls him a retard, yet
can wield a gun and fend off against the walking
dead. Charlie is the real survivor of "Land" and for
that he deserves a slot. Played with perfect nuance
by the utterly talented Robert Joy, Charlie is both
a tragic, comedic, and valiant character who stands
by Riley in everything he does. Riley and Charlie
are a lot like Raymond and Charlie in "Rain Man".
You get
the sense that Riley really only puts up with
Charlie, but you discover within the film's story
that Riley wouldn't be alive were it not for
Charlie's marksmanship. In the entire "Dead" series
there's never been a better written friendship. The
two are best friends, partners, and companions and
they rely on one another to survive against the
flesh eating horde of zombies making their way to
their home. His introduction into the "Land" story
is well done as he appears from the darkness
resembling a zombie and shows how far he can go to
protect not only himself but Riley. Throughout
"Land", Riley and Charlie remain a team, and Romero
gives us one of the better sub-plots of the film all
thanks to Joy.
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8.
CJ
Dawn of the Dead 2004
Status: Suicide by
explosion
He
started out as a dickhead, but when you think about
it, the character of CJ and his actions before the
second half are understandable. Here's a selfish man
who has just seen his friends and society fall under
the bloody wrath of the walking dead. So in a last
effort of survival he holds up in the second floor
of the mall with his co-workers and lives among
different stores. But when the group of survivors
enters, he sends them back out without a pause of
conscience. CJ was only thinking about surviving for
himself because he was so frightened. Thus, he
remains one of the only human characters in the
"Dawn" remake.
With
a strong performance by Michael Kelly, CJ starts out
as a pure prick who refuses to care about the other
survivors desperately attempting to make their way
into the mall, for fear that they may infect him and
kill him, but as the film progresses, CJ becomes a
worthy anti-hero who not only helps Kenneth in their
escape but leads the team across the street into the
gun shop where the newly revived Andy is trying to
get to the useless Nicole. As the climax rushes on,
he and the team make their way across town to the
docks where he not only fends off single handedly
against a horde of the undead making their way in to
the truck, but he makes the ultimate sacrifice and
takes them down with him. With his last words:
"Fucking figures" he goes down in flames, but he
does so as a hero who showed that he wasn't a coward
after all. CJ is one of the most memorable aspects
of the "Dawn" remake.
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7.
BUB
Day of the Dead
Status: Unknown, but
alive and well
Okay, so
Bub is not technically a hero, per se, but you gotta
love him. Before that pansy Big Daddy came along,
Bub was it. He was the man, or--undead man. More of
a tragic character than an actual hero, Bub
signalled the evolution of the walking dead that
Romero would continue with in "Land". In all of the
films in Romero's world, he explains and alludes
that the walking dead would eventually learn to
adapt and organize and eventually grow their own
minds and fight back. Bub was the omen of such. Bub,
as named by his master, was a soldier who was tamed
domesticated and taught many skills. "Day" brought
upon many theories.
Can the
dead really be tamed over time? Can they be taught
to eat other food? Can they learn to communicate and
co-exist among the living? Can they be taught to
obey like dogs? Regardless, even if the theories
were left up in the air for fan boys to argue for
decades, Bub was the clear indicator that with
enough time, the dead would learn to use tools,
organize, and learn who deserved to die. Bub was a
wrenching character, and is one of the only zombie
characters that managed to make me well up. After
learning how to use tools with the help of his
master, he frees himself and shows the broken chain
to Dr. Frankenstein.
But upon
realizing his master has just been gunned down by
the remaining soldiers, he bawls in sadness and then
decides its time for revenge. In a climax
reminiscent of "Frankenstein", Rhodes hides out in
the last room for safety as the dead storm the army
base and proceeds in taking part of a cat and mouse
game as Bub chases Rhodes and shoots him, as Rhodes
finds himself stuck. Bub then watches on in
accomplishment as Rhodes, his enemy, is torn apart
and eaten by the walking dead and then disappears
into the depths of the base with his kind.
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6.
RILEY
Land of the Dead
Status:
Alive
Riley,
played with charming humility by Simon Baker, was
really a take no shit kind of guy. He was basically
the allegory of the military. They go in, do their
jobs, never question their leaders intentions, and
only seek to go home in spite of the corruption
currently ruling over his civilization. An idealist,
yet swift warrior, he leads his team of Charlie,
Slack, Pilsbury, and two other inter-changeable
characters to trek out on to the wasteland and
re-claim the "Dead Reckoning" or else, their world
suffers. Baker is not the normal hero of the "Dead"
world basically because he's a more dutiful persona
who wants to get the job done beyond all costs.
Riley's introduction into "Land" is basically
unspectacular as he hides out in a hedge
watching the dead communing and pretending to live.
Then is also when he lays eyes on Big Daddy, a
character who would serve as his rival throughout
the entire film. Riley was a less charismatic, but
much more powerful character of the "Land" film, and
his mission to find the "Dead Reckoning" and leave
ultimately proves futile, even when he finally
starts to realize that the actions he's taking in
his own pursuit of happiness are effecting others,
and then must go back to help. Baker's performance
is also helped by the teaming of his friend Charlie,
who follows him around and follows his rules, but
also acts as a big brother figure tolerating
everyone else. Baker's reluctant hero who finds he's
more important than he realizes is a real touchstone
for "Land". |
PART TWO!
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