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There is a planet of
hot women out there. They want sperm. And they're coming to Earth for
some men who have sperm. Unfortunately where they're from men are rare,
and their race may wither and die without man seed. There's your plot
for "2069" a sex comedy that's about as stupid but arousing as all of
the other porn parodies of the sixties and seventies. True, I refer to
it as a porn parody primarily because of its title, but in reality it's
not even a slight spoof on Kubrick's classic film. It merely borrows the
title for the excuse to implement the 69 and is a pretty tame softcore
porn and sex comedy that sets down on a group of alien women who happen
down on Earth to abduct and sex up a bunch of hapless men to revive
their society.
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What confounds me is how was
their planet originally able to reproduce without men
around? And are these women hoarding sperm for their planet
or are they hoping to become pregnant on their own? Like
most sex comedies of this ilk, it's wrought with double
entendres and innuendo aplenty. One girl marvels at a man
sucking noticing his ability to kiss a woman, and the alien
women even have a diagram of a naked man in their ship just
to get a good idea of where peg A goes in to slot B. |
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The Venusians land
on the snowy tundra along farms and working class locales and manage
to conveniently steal clothing from local shops and closets that fit
them and provide the guise of a normal hot horny woman desperate for
a man's love. Every man in this film is either a buffoon or a
pervert, prone to molesting women and ogling them hungrily, and the
misadventures of the venusians is on par with your typical early
seventies sex comedy/softcore porn. This is not a good movie by any
stretch of the imagination, as it takes baffling detours in to the
absurd that detracts from the overall scandalous sexuality it
promotes in the opening.
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There's a long drawn out
slapstick scene involving skiiers, a gag about a man's bare
butt that met a pitchfork, and you can sense the women
donning the thin alien costumes are freezing their German
assess off. But there are some genuinely funny one-liners
like one man's reaction when a sperm sucker is attached to
his crotch to which he replies, "I've never had machine
head!" Of course the alien women from Venus learn from the
men of this planet that sex can be a marvelous practice that
doesn't have to be so technical and cold, and this provides
some arousing scenes from the Venusian women enjoying some
good old fashioned shagging and cunnilingus. |
And it's rare you'll
find a movie where a man describes his penis as "a flute that plays
magical music." The sex inevitably turns the Venusian women in to sex
pots, all of whom indulge in sexual acts that provide the best material
including a girl on girl moment in the space ship and a man's intense
speech about sausage while getting blown under a table in a restaurant.
"2069" sadly ends on a giant thud wasting what could have been an above
average sex comedy and porno, and it's surely one of the lesser titles
of the sub-genre.
Georg Tressler's "2069"
definitely has a chance to be one of the funnier and entertaining of its
sub-genre, but it's a rather flat and tedious little title with the
occasional sharp one-liner and double entendre that's lost in the weight
of its own lazily slapped together production.
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