Nicole Kidman’s career has become a constant bipolar example of choices in film that really should be examined. Kidman can pull in a rousing performance in one film, and then oddly appear in a really bad film the next. She can go from brutally sexy Ingrid Bergman, to numb skulled Lindsay Lohan in mere minutes. And that’s why she’s become a gamble in Hollywood. And Will Ferrell is no saint, either. I’ve never seen two people so devoted to doing damage to their careers before. Are they talented? Sure, but stupid choices deteriorate a great career. Would it have been so bad to remake “Bewitched” directly? I ask you. I mean, a remake at all was incredibly questionable and unnecessary, but that's just moot. No, a direct remake would be too obvious. Let’s do a satire on Hollywood. No one has ever done that before! Right...?

And to further add to the stupidity, our main character Isabel who is a witch and wants to be just one of the people in society decides to become—an actress! Holy plot hole, Batman! And the writers can never decide if she's a human witch, or just an unearthly entity. She has no idea what human conventions are, and is completely naive to anything involving human contact. “Bewitched” is a pompous and utterly stupid semi-remake that attempts to go beyond remake conventions and becomes formulaic just the same as a Hollywood satire. Said plot features a romance, and a whimsical fantasy mumbo jumbo featuring Isabelle in her numb skulled whisper seeking revenge on egomaniacal Jack Wyatt. Wyatt wants to build the “Bewitched” sitcom around himself and then backstabs Isabelle, yadda, yadda, yadda, it has a happy ending. Fact is, none of it is ever funny, none of it is ever interesting, and none of it is ever entertaining. Ferrell begins to make me re-think being a fan of his pulling in another performance as the unkempt hipster doofus.

You know—the same one he’s played in “Melinda and Melinda”, “Kicking and Screaming”, “Anchorman”, and “The Wedding Crashers”? Apparently, he took a cue from Owen Wilson and decided to make a career out of playing the same characters in every film. Regardless, the plot entails a desperate attempt to make use of Michael Caine as Isabel’s daddy who gets mixed up with an actress who happens to be a witch too, played by Shirley McClaine. Ephron’s monstrosity has a smug sense of being with it, as its cast saunters around the film in a “Aren’t we clever?” fashion, when really it’s just trying too damn hard to be something more than it is. A stupid unnecessary remake.

I’d still make joyous jollies with Nicole Kidman, but as far as her career has gone, I’m wondering what she’s doing with it. Is it vanity or a bad agent that’s compelled her to star in these types of films? One can only wonder. “Bewitched” is a stupid pompous waste of money and talent.

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