Oh, Gina Phillips, how I love you so. You're sexy, gorgeous, fascinating, and talented, and it's a damn shame you haven't had a good role since "Jeepers Creepers". I'm sure you could hold up your end of a film, I've seen you do it before, I just wish I wouldn't have to suffer through movies like this just to see you act. "Chronicle of the Raven" ends as just a poor man's "Skeleton Key". And I can't automatically deem it so since this film was in the works for a while, but that's pretty much what it feels like from beginning to end. Except, I liked "Skeleton Key", and this? I really didn't like this. It's not as awful as expected, it has some interesting concepts, it's just shoddy and--aw hell, it sucks, okay? It's shitty, it's a ninety minute snore fest, and it's a waste of time.

I'm obviously being softer on it because--well--Phillips is so hot it makes me want to cry. Either way "Chronicle" is really boring and slow, I'm not sure if its the low-budget, or just the hackneyed script but nothing in this film makes a lick of sense, and the pseudo-Poe meets Lovecraft angle is never pulled off as well as it wants to be, nor is it ever as serious as it tries to be. Phillips in her utter sexually alluring self plays Jennifer, an--actress--I think? It's never fully indicated, and she's written extremely uneven. Sometimes she's a cold hard bitch, sometimes she's a manipulator, and sometimes she's a sweet protagonist who seems to be victimized by her grandmother. Faye Dunaway, whose appearance was hyped barely has a role her to call a role, appearing in basically six short scenes that never amount to a decent antagonist and when she's on-screen she has zero chemistry with Phillips, and downplays her potential for bitchy.

The acting all around is stilted and often drab with every single person here looking as if they were about to doze off any second. They could probably sense me watching since I was attempting to keep from falling asleep as well. "Chronicle of the Raven" which it's now called, fails to stir up anything worth watching becoming as dull as white bread and mayo, and lacks anything resembling tension, or atmosphere, with a perfect mood setting with no mood and two talented actresses that never spark any good performances. The dialogue is utterly forgettable, the characters are drab, and the story doesn't really make any sense, even in the climax which was so similar to the climax of "Skeleton Key" I was beginning to get suspicious.

Who's the monster? The house? The raven? The shadow? Or Dunaway's character? What was the deal with Jennifer's aunt? Was she being ravaged too? Was she put in a spell? Or was she just diseased and trying to warn Jennifer? Those questions are never truly answered, so instead we're reduced to boredom, boredom and boredom with weird dream sequences, a minimal romance sub-plot between Phillips and interchangeable Italian guy, and a really boring pseudo-climax that's not only predictable, but pulled off immensely poor thanks to bad editing, and unconvincing acting from both its stars.

Quoth the raven: This really blows. In spite of that dated pun, "Chronicle of the Raven" is a terrible would supernatural thriller that lifts pages from "Skeleton Key" but has zero sense, a lackluster story, wooden performances, and a plot that makes no sense. But Gina Phillips is still good looking. That's something to remember.

• Also known as "Jennifer's Shadow".

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