|
I wanted to like
“Dorm of the Dead.” I mean I really wanted to like “Dorm of the Dead.” I
was excited, I anticipated a good time, and even as an awful movie I
expected it to be so awful it was worth recommending. And no, that’s not
what I received, sadly. What I got in return was bad acting, tedious
writing, horrible editing, terrible sound looping, uneven sound effects,
and a story that’s much too senseless to take as a goof. “Dorm of the
Dead” has all the potential to be a classic and squanders it on a
basically D grade production with quite possibly some of the worst sound
I’ve heard in a movie in years. Characters actually have conversations
where one actor’s voice is canned, while the other’s is drowned out by
street noises. In a scene where one of the main characters are being
scolded by a dean, the dean’s voice is muffled in the echoes of the
room, while the actresses voice is loud and canned. Director Farmer
really dropped the ball on the sound altogether, and it basically ripped
me from the story. The narrative is pretty much in the area of the
eighties involving warring college girls, chaos taking place during a
party, and a villainess who is about as intimidating as a character from
“Saved by the Bell.”
|
Jackey Hall
who plays Southern diva Clare is probably the most
conspicuously cardboard in the cast given an introduction
scene obviously a compilation of takes that really never
bind together as coherently as Farmer thinks. Her attempted
intimidation on the heroines, her cheesy insults and
dialogue makes her the most inadvertently idiotic character
in the bunch, and Farmer’s reasons for her being the
antagonist is never interesting enough. She was laughed at
by some people in class and plans revenge. My, what plot
motivation. I don’t begrudge Farmer for including “Howard
Stern” members for the sake of the publicity, but Hall never
takes this role as far as it can go. |
|
 |
The entire tedious
build-up leads to the two Southern belles accidentally unleashing a
zombie apocalypse which involves a party and a lot of innocent victims,
with none of the excitement and laugh factor “Return of the Living Dead”
gave us. Farmer is so intent on revealing the zombies that they’re
pretty much shown from minute one and are presented as conscious
monsters who are led by undead lesbian Amy. Tiffany Shepis, who is hyped
as making an appearance, has a very small role as a girl who gets into a
fight with her boyfriend and falls under the zombies wrath, all the
while she leads the other hordes of undead around the campus. Farmer
also feels it necessary to flash back briefly to an awful zombie roaming
around a forest for no reason other than to give us some distraction,
and every set piece and scene is so awkward and poorly edited, I really
couldn’t find motivation to involve myself. The rest of the film is
filled with under-developed sub-plots, shoehorned dramatic tension, and
baffling sequences that caused me to ponder if Farmer intended a laugh
or curious head tilt; for example Farmer shows our two alpha females
walking down a hall and suddenly speeds up their walking rather than
cutting to them entering their destination. Moments such as that made me
wonder if Farmer really had any grasp on his own film.
Farmer has a lot
of knack for atmosphere but I just couldn’t muster up enough strength to
enjoy myself, which is sad since I really was looking forward to what he
had to offer. “Dorm of the Dead” has all the ingredients to be a cult
horror comedy, and really has no idea how to bring them together to form
coherence, cogency, and entertainment.
|
