Cinemusings

You don’t see tons of robot movies these days, maybe because your average cell phone can take itself on a walk before going to bed. Robots aren’t ‘all that’ fiction-wise, and the last few movies (i.e. A.I. and I, Robot) slightly short-circuited in their circuitry-anthropomorphizing missions.

But back in the day, man, those robots could make me cry.

We really needed hunks of metal with heart and soul in the free love, mechanized disco ‘70s - like the robots starring in ‘70s film bookends Silent Running and The Black Hole. Neither film holds up technically like Alien or Star Wars, but they blend their wonkiness well with stories of fierce individualism and cute, lovable robots.

The Black Hole is Disney’s odd anomalous cash-in on ‘70s Star Wars inspired space-fever.

Meticulously crafted, it ends up a stiff but gorgeous looking ‘60s adventure rehash. Space explorers including Anthony Perkins and Ernest Borgnine discover a ‘derelict ship’ hovering near a giant black hole. Soon they’re experiencing a 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea type drama, complete with crazed captain, ultra-cool vessel and a lot of nifty robots. Our heroes have a cool robot, V.I.N. CENT, who befriends a similar model, (ol’ B.O.B.) Neither automaton is anything more than a goofy looking tin ball floating on wires, (and they still manage to look like spray-painted Styrofoam) but, voiced by Roddy McDowell and Slim Pickens respectively, the robots show real life.

The Black Hole doesn’t stand up like its contemporaries, though it’s still an elegant, entertaining time capsule. But what happens to B.O.B. had me blubbering like a baby in ‘79.

Silent Running, released eight years earlier, brought hippies to space in possibly the saddest, most depressing science fiction movie ever. It’s also one of the best, setting tons of precedents while getting the whole humanism-versus-technology thing down pat.

Bruce Dern stars as Freeman Lowell, the humanist-hippy responsible for the last bits of cool-spaceship-relegated earthly vegetation. Lowell’s working-class shipmates (shades of Alien) opine that there’s no poverty or sickness on Earth, and “everyone has a job.”

Lowell counters that there are no plants left alive and no one has any passion anymore, or will ever know the joy of watching a leaf glimmer in the sun.

Then he devours a hand-grown cantaloupe while the shipmates play pool.

Soon it’s down to Lowell and the ship’s three robots (called drones and deserving top-billing) to defend their gardens from an indifferent US government. Drama kicks into high gear, Dern goes on a righteous tear (you wouldn’t want him to lecture you about factory-farmed beef, but you’d respect him) and your eyes start welling up as drones and final forests go through hell.

The sharp, concise storyline, awesome production design, superb performances and nifty (for the day) effects aren’t enough, though. Silent Running is a must have for any sci-fi fan ‘cause of the drones.

In conception they’re smack-your-head simple, in action – brilliant. Nearly all prior movie robots looked vaguely human with zero personality other than cold, murderous intent. The drones have almost zero reference to human form, certainly no faces, but tons of real, relatable personality.

They wring gigabytes of emotion from performances equal to Dern’s, and you will cry for these robots by movie’s end, oh yes you will.

Maybe you have to go retro if you want robots to make you cry; it beats eyeing your iPod suspiciously as it ‘randomly’ plays a Beatles tune, then Wings, then George Harrison. So as you’re wondering if Apple developed some A.I. for its mp3 player, cue up The Black Hole and Silent Running, tip back, drink some tranya and have tissues at hand. You’re going to need them.

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