Mo’ people, mo’ problems, right? You city dwellers know all about the little crawlies that skitter out of sight when you turn the lights on in the kitchen, don’t you? That’s nothing compared to the crawlers that apparently live below the subways in overcrowded Tokyo! But first, let’s go to a far less likely location for cockroaches, a Californian resort town, and the setting for They Nest.

A recent visit with my little one and a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach brought to light this interesting fact: cockroaches aren’t native to North America, they’re desert creatures, and if it weren’t for all those cozy ovens to live under and lovely crumbs to eat, they likely wouldn’t bother us. Then again this is from a teen at the Insect zoo, so take it with a grain of salt.

I’d take They Nest with a few grains of salt, some lime, and a couple of tequila shots. This under-performer from the days when video horror was king is certainly worth a few laughs but is nothing to call the exterminator about.

It starts in a sleepy resort village on a coastal island during high summer. We know it’s a glorious tourist destination since the outdoor scenes are all shot in gauzy splendor, with little butterflies flitting about. On the ground below the butterflies a bunch of genetically engineered, carnivorous cockroaches scurry.

This causes the town bigwig no end of consternation; can’t have tourists gobbled up by roaches now, can we? Before you can say ‘we’re going to need a bigger boat’ the movie slows wayyy down for an hour of exposition.

Really, who cares that the shaggy-haired sheriff can’t make up his mind between shagging his tough-as-nails waitress lover or his childhood crush, the daughter of the town’s Mullah? Alls we want to see are some people getting’ chewed up by las cucarachas. Or maybe the lovely Terri Treas – psycho scientist and roach apologist – could drop her blouse or something. But noooo.

After about an hour things heat up a bit as the kindly old junkyard scamp gets his lips chewed off. In the last ten-minutes or so we’re finally treated to some discount special effects as cats and people begin shedding skin to become raggedy old flesh-chunk- covered skeletons with mandibles, and the top of someone’s head is oh-so-briefly sawed off by a roach-flesh totem pole monster.

Yes, a roach-flesh totem pole monster.

You see how They Nest has huge potential, but ends up as the little engine that couldn’t. Give it credit for being light and having its heart ripped out of the right place, but discerning horror fans might as well wait for a late-night television screening.

The photographer suffers in unique Japanese style from a particular form of isolation and obsession, causing him to fervently delve into the suicide. He must see what this other man has seen. It’s a problem endemic to Internet culture too, (making this a very timely movie) as things once hidden from most people’s sight are now a horrific mouse-click away. Somehow the ability to see such stuff makes it so much more tempting to look.

In a hazy, dream-fractured fashion, the man finds below ground evidence of both creepy-crawly Deros (detrimental robots) and a mysterious woman whom he takes home to his apartment, only to discover things he really doesn’t want to know, and things he’s hidden from himself.

Marebito follows a leisurely, disturbing path, trading the supernatural shocks of the "Ju-on" series for unhealthy reveries steeped in unease. The man’s sleepy voice-over monologue attempts to rationalize the weird occurrences, lulling himself and the viewer into a false torpor that will eventually be shredded by the final moments of total breakdown.

Marebito’s eerie pall makes for fine frightful viewing, even if it isn’t your traditional J-horror fare. In fact it’s better for that reason, as the usual tropes make most fans yawn at this point. The sparing shock scenes can’t match the transcendent wrongness of the last few frames – images that at once unsettle and beguile - a truly remarkable manifestation of the desire to look at that which we don’t want to see.