Like every red blooded male, we love action movies. A good action movie provides an experience, it provides a form of escapism, and it provides a reality where explosions don't kill you, women jump into your pants, ammo never wastes, and people are killed without consequence. We love the blood, the kicks, the tits, and the bullets. So just to pay homage to one of our favorite genres, and to some of the men who inspired us to appreciate the genre in all its appeal, we present you with some of our favorite action stars of all time, summed up with our usual wit and brilliance. Lock and load, and prepare for Our Favorite Action Stars of All Time! Brian Pittman tosses in his top five in the home stretch and runs for cover!
 

Brian: Look at this man. He's an ex-con who you'd look at with fear, like he may murder you with his cold icy stare. For me, that's all a part of his charm. He has grit and isn't some pretty young guy who will kick your ass. Trejo is that grizzled desperado who will get the job done, the man who won't flinch when he sees a man bleed out after being shot. I'd want him watching my back, that's for damned sure.

Owen's body of work may typically lie in drama and romance, but he showed a true knack for action cinema when he starred into the magnificent "Children of Men" as an inadvertent hero who is given the mission of a life time in a world gone mad. He then showed he had a pure appeal as an action hero in the underrated utterly ridiculous "Shoot 'Em Up" which starred him as a hyper violent innocent bystander who is yanked into a series of events involving babies, genetic tests, and a busty hooker with a fetish for lactating. As the action equivalent of Bugs Bunny, Owen just ruled as this brilliant mad cap crony who gave an evil mob boss a run for his money and made it hurt every time. Of course, very few remember one of Owen's lesser role as a nameless assassin intending to take out Jason Bourne who died under the man's gun and gave a brief explanation of what awaited him. Owen has more ahead of him if he keeps at it.

We're not wholly familiar with Katsu's work, but we are familiar with the excellent "Zatoichi" series that ensures our fandom. Following it and watching as many movies possible, we're big fans of Katsu's consistently strong performances as the masseur Ichi, an ex mobster blinded during the war, who travels around the country solving problems and stopping crime lords. Zatoichi is the quintessential humble hero, this very dirty and plump warrior who is at first very inept and goofy, but is always called in to battle. He seeks to atone for his past sins of murder and this blindness has granted him a constant reminder of his past and how much he has to make up for. Katsu is always at his high in the "Zatoichi" series as the least likely superhero who sets the wrong things right every time he walks into a village. He's the man with no name looking for peace he can't find, and Katsu makes this character riveting every time.

Forget all the crap you've seen him in in the US. They simply didn't know what they had on their hands. "Bulletproof Monk"? That movie was atrocious, it was completely unlike what Fat was capable of. "The Replacement Killers"? Boring as piss. The Chow Yun Fat I've come to know is Tequila, the cop with an attitude, the one who dons the shades, and is quick with the guns. Chow Yun Fat is an utter force of nature as an action star, and better yet, as an actor he's fantastic. One of the most recent films that perfectly demonstrated everything this man was capable of was "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," but he was at his prime with director John Woo starring in the action classic "Hard Boiled" as Tequila, a man haunted by his partner's death who infiltrates a drug ring. Fat charm and acting talent ensured his status as more than an action star, and created a cult icon sadly misused in the states. Further proving his worth, he previously starred in the equally excellent "The Killers." Though he's now only used for small roles here, Fat will forever be the no nonsense cop in "Hard Boiled," to us.

What can you say about Bruce that everyone in many different languages haven't already? Lee, even in the age of wannabes and CGI is still incredible on -screen, and boasts one of the most lively on-screen personas film lovers ever saw. He stole the show in series like "The Green Hornet," still a very under appreciated action series, and went on to absolutely fantastic films like "Enter the Dragon," and "Return of the Dragon." Like many, he was very misunderstood and mistreated in the US, even having his idea for a show called "Kung Fu" stolen right from under him, but his legacy continued toppling people like Chuck Norris and David Carradine, in the end. The best performance by Lee is "Enter the Dragon," as the humble martial arts expert who enters a fighting competition to investigate a crime ring and comes across folks like John Saxon risking life and limb to avenge his sister. Many years later, he's still as iconic as James Dean and people still long for a day where our Bruce Lee can come along and remind us of the potential the action genre has. None have come up to the plate. There's still just one Bruce Lee.

Brian: What can I say about him? He's not a man, or simply an actor of great renown. No, he's a legend. He's a beast who will not fall. Few epitomize the action hero as this man does in his long career. Samurai epics, hardcore fighters with no morals and yakuza. He's played them all, always as convincing as ever. If he told you to move you would empty your bowels. Point blank, Sonny Chiba is the bad-ass we all wish we could be.

Sorry Brucie, you are the man and all, but let's be real, you have the skills, you taught McQueen a thing or two, but your apostle is one that simply rules the roost, period. McQueen is the king of cool, and you'd best remember that when you're out there raving about Gerard Butler and Russell Crowe. No one commanded a screen like McQueen, no one is cooler than McQueen. And even in his worst, he's still the best, he's someone who performs, someone who damn sure knows how to own a role without even trying. Perhaps the best representation of McQueen's agility and presence is in "The Getaway" as Doc McCoy, kicking pure criminal ass as this anti-hero in it for himself and seeking a pass out of prison even though his newest heist threatens back stabbing and a life sentence. Peckingpah brings the best out of McQueen and his duel performance with Ali McGraw only helps to personify his stance as our action king.

For more McQueen action goodness, look for him as the rebellious prisoner in "The Getaway," or performing his own stunts in "Bullitt," or perhaps as the second in command in "The Magnificent Seven." For truly good McQueen fare, look no further than "Wanted: Dead or Alive" with McQueen as a bounty hunter; it's a television series that simply doesn't garner enough attention. Though before he hit the big time, this is McQueen at his prime, worthy of a glimpse from fans. Either way, cut it however you want, but McQueen is the quintessential action star.