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For shame, it’s finally come down to this.
It’s time to admit Harrison Ford’s prowess as an action star has past.
How he plans the ever continuous shoot of “Indiana Jones 4” I’ll never
know. “Firewall” is a healthy indicator that Ford just can’t handle it
anymore. And it’s a pretty good indicator that Ford also hasn’t made a
watchable film in a good while. The worst aspect of “Firewall” is that
we’ve seen this a thousand times. And a thousand more times. “Derailed,”
and “Hostage,” and “Ransom,” and “Trapped,” and mostly particularly “The
Desperate Hours.” There’s your poor workaday shlub taken hostage in his
own home. And the checklist: Family disharmony, check! Spunky oldest
daughter, check! Wise doting wife, check! Wide eyed youngest child who
plays a big role in the climax, check! Do all the events unite this
family to beat the bad guys? You bet they do. “Firewall” is yet another
in a million of these cheesy thrillers, except this time, the man is the
victim, while his wife attempts to outdo the hostages inside. La dee da.
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And worst of all, the film can’t
force good performances from a great cast. Bettany is a
typical British villain, Virginia Madsen is a character too
smart to be realistic, or believable, Ford plays this role
in his sleep, while Alan Arkin and Robert Patrick are sadly
pissed away in a boring sub-plot.
And of course let’s not
forget the villains who can corrupt Jack’s home, know
everything about him and his family right down to their
allergies, yet can’t quite figure out that understanding the
bank would gain more of a purpose. |
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But then, without common sense, Harrison
Ford wouldn’t be in this.
We’d be
robbed of Madsen being the wise maum of the family outwitting the evil
dastardly men, we’d miss Bettany’s character feeding peanut cookies to a
boy with a peanut allergy sans the violence, and we’d miss Harrison Ford
who looks hanged over and out of breath most of the time. Ford is at his
worst here, mumbling about eighty percent of his lines, while the
dialogue he has playing off the villains consists of him literally
growling. “You won’t see a dime,” he growls while deleting money from a
Swiss bank account the villains possess. They can’t break into a bank,
and they can’t protect their own bank accounts, then what the hell is
the point of watching this movie? Ford though is awful. He often sounds
like an old Prospector committing the usual one-liners we’ve seen in
these flicks.
“Don’t hurt my family, I’ll give you anything you want,” and the old
chestnut, “We’re playing by my rules, now, asshole.” You go, Indiana
Solo! Sheesh, I almost expected him to mutter “Dag Nabbit!” while
pumping his fist in the air at some point. Con Sarnit. 
“Firewall” is a bust, mainly because it’s such a vapid vehicle for every
single cast member that it’s difficult to actually enjoy. Characters are
stock, situations rehashed, and the ultimate resolution is horrible.
Ford, call it a day.
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