No, I'm serious with that suggestion, check them out at the below link... their movies are just offensive enough to be hilarious for nine out of ten of the horror fans I watch them with. The rest... well, you know, some people just don't know good horrible filmmaking at its finest when they see it. But you can't please everyone all the time, right? Anyway, what's this movie about? Well, from the opening frames of the movie we learn that the metal band Dream Reaper is in trouble. Band members are arguing over which direction the music should take, and it's threatening to tear the band apart. And as if that weren't enough, members of the band start getting killed off one by one all while JERKING OFF. That's right. You thought this was a regular plot summary. Well you were WRONG, buddy. NOTHING about this movie is normal, so the fucking plot summary is going to follow suit, and if you don't like it, go read a review for some other movie. Oh...and the remaining band members must battle the evil in order to save themselves (or some shit like that). There, now you want to watch the movie, right? Hey, why are you backing away slowly? Get back here!

I told myself I was NEVER going to review this movie. I watch and review a lot of indie movies just because I love them so much, but half the time I sound like I hate them because of the things I say, and nothing could be farther from the truth. I like poking fun at the movies I love, picking them apart and discussing their inconsistencies, because otherwise my reviews would read “Dude, this movie was cool... and it was good... and it was awesome... and stuff.” But too often I sound like I'm hating on the movies when that's not my intent, and sometimes when I'm listing a film's good qualities it's all things that would turn off “normal” viewers, thus it sounds negative. Such is the case with “Dream Reaper.” I laughed my ass off while watching it, and so has almost everyone else who's seen it due to my recommendations, but I'm very careful when recommending this movie because quite simply, a lot of people will hate it. The acting isn't BAD so much as it isn't really acting; it looks like me and a bunch of my friends standing around in a house filming ourselves reading dialogue and reacting to a ridiculous script.

These aren't professional actors by any means, and most of the line delivery is flat and toneless like when your English teacher made the people in your class take turns reading poetry aloud against your will. This is not to say that there's nothing enjoyable about the performances. Kevin Strange (the head psycho who plays Willy Nutsack) has hilarious facial expressions, and his over-the-top performance is a lot of fun to watch. In fact, everyone adds something to the proceedings with their line delivery... when the Dream Reaper speaks, his matter-of-fact rendering of ridiculous monologues had me in stitches. The “special effects” when the ninja's head gets split open ad you can clearly see that it's a watermelon made me want to pee my pants. There's nothing about the performances that makes you believe the story, but you should have known that coming in. Usually, I rate movies based on how well the performances drew me in and made me believe the story, but that's not feasible here. There's gore, but it's not really good gore (in the traditional definition of the word) because it doesn't look real, but it's often really funny gore—especially during one sequence (involving a penis) that I won't ruin here. The plot...ok, there isn't really a plot. There's a bunch of stuff that happens, and you either like it or you don't. And therein lies the blessing and the curse of this movie.

The actors aren't professional nor are they trying to be, so the performances are bad by most people's standards (including mine) but somehow they work in this movie. I don't think I'm just making excuses either; every movie has to be judged on a case-by case basis, and for the framework of this movie, more “realistic” acting would have been silly and out of place and would have taken away from the fun. One of my friends (the only guy who has ever hated the movie) said of the dialog “there's nothing funny about this, it sounds like stuff we say when we're hanging out.” EXACTLY, and I think WE'RE hilarious too. Remember when I said this film had a blessing (or I at least alluded to it by mentioning this film and the word “blessing” in the same sentence)? Well, the positives are as follows: The ridiculousness of the situations are funny, and the movie's supposed to be funny.

And I think it's funny. I think it's goddamned HILARIOUS when the characters get killed after masturbating on camera, and when the reaper attacks people with his plastic weapons, and when Willy goes through a training montage that mocks every overdramatic training montage from every Rocky film. That's just it... I think it's funny. But I know that most people won't. It just warms my heart to see people who love horror movies hanging out in someone's basement making movies because it's something they want to do. Some filmmakers are rather stuck-up about what they do, calling it “art” (which it often is) in a way that excludes any filmmaker they don't feel is up to their high standards of filmmaking.

But these guys, they just love making movies and they don't seem to give a fuck if people think it's pointless or stupid, because it's fun. It's not that this movie is “so bad it's good,” because it's SUPPOSED to be bad. It's the kind of movie I could make if I had a camera right now and I could secure my friends' cooperation, and it's the kind of movie we'd laugh about over and over after we were done making it, and we'd show it with pride to everyone we knew, and they'd think we were insane, and we'd agree, and we'd feel even more pride if they actually liked it, too. It's weird, it's gross, it's ridiculous, it's offensive, it's silly, it's $10 at the Hack Movies website, and you should buy it. Because the more movies these guys make, the better they get, and the better they get, the more chances I'll have to see filmmaking break out of its box and infect the world. And that's something I really want to see.

Like a stab in the face to the snotty film industry that has the testicular fortitude to call itself "legitimate," this movie breaks every rule of quality filmmaking. The acting is often atrocious, the dialogue is wooden, the special effects are terrible, the pacing is ridiculously slow for an hour-long movie...and I loved every second of it and I hope you buy it and love it, too. Overall I'd have to give it four stars. Out of four stars. For reals.

• For more information on "Dream Reaper" and other titles, visit the official website.