Cinema Crazed

2005

Rated: R for graphic violence, gore, strong sexual content, brief nudity, crude humor, and graphic language.

Genre: Horror Comedy Action Thriller

Directed By: John Gulager

Running Time: 1:28

Review by: Felix Vasquez Jr.

Review Date: 10/16/06

FEAST

Beer Guy: The monsters are doing it, doggy style!

So, after an okay last season of “Project Greenlight” with Cleftatron Affleck, and Dimples Damon you probably wonder: “Did they actually spit a good movie from this show?” Well, I’ll say this: Even the goose shits a few times before laying a golden egg, and “Feast” is shockingly the golden egg after the two previous shits that were “The Battle of Shaker Heights” and “Stolen Summer.” Shocked? I still am. A group of strangers, the middle of nowhere, a rundown bar, a grizzled bartender, and an ass load of monsters. Sound familiar to you, doesn’t it? Well, have no fear, “Feast” has the distinction of being the same old shit with its own little features that make it unique just the same.

Whatever you’re expecting to see during “Feast,” whatever you think will happen you smug horror loving son of a bitch, trust me, Gulager rips them to shreds. As misanthropic horror buff whose seen it all, I was stunned, surprised, and completely taken for a loop to what happens during this gorgy. “Feast,” is a horror love fest, it’s a film that will be deemed a horror masterpiece, or a piece of shit, but I know fans will be inclined to discuss this for hours, and that’s why it’s so effective. Gulager’s first of (hopefully) his career is cheesy, stupid, fun, and ballsy: This pure guilty pleasure is grind house up and down, and best of all Gulager takes the horror character clichés, and conventions, bends them over and has a hell of a time breaking them in two.

A group of people in a dusty bar are greeted with a woman who warns that monsters are following her and they’re intent on eating her alive. Now, the group, left with no other option, has to stay in the bar and fend off these impossibly invincible beasts, or else be dinner. Gulager’s film basically stands alone from all the other horror dreck, not only because of the simply nauseating violence, but because of the stand out characters he sets up with intro’s and disposing of them defying the character set-ups.

Characters we think will die rarely do, and the characters we think will survive don’t live long enough to see the end credits. Gulager and screenwriters Dunston and Melton have fun with these people and once an important character goes, we’re not sure who will die next. “Feast” comes off more like a sequel to “From Dusk Til Dawn” with an “Evil Dead” twist, and it never takes itself too seriously in the face of its genre. The dialogue is utterly hokey, the situations are ridiculous and the most of the cast never hesitate to chew the scenery. Navi Rawat is utterly sexy as heroine pulling a performance in the vein of Campbell of “Evil Dead,” while Krista Allen pulls in a respectable performance as the single mom/waitress Tuffy.

Henry Rollins is hilarious as a bullshit motivational speaker who insists on giving inspirational speeches every five minutes while contributing nothing, and Balthazar Getty as a tough guy who’s all talk and little action is priceless. Josh Zuckerman is the stand out as “Hot Wheels” the only seemingly sane person in the group of survivors, who watches everything from the confines of his wheelchair devising methods to trick the monsters. In spite of the over the top acting, all the characters are likable, and the actors give very good performances on par with a film of this caliber. “Feast” is a satisfying roll in the horror sack, and I flipped for it.

Sadly "Feast" is made an occasionally difficult experience thanks to utterly chaotic, and inept editing that is never sure how to handle the carnage occurring in this bar. The monsters are cut away from, and the action sequences are chopped up so incessantly, it's almost impossible to make out who is taking part in the battles.

In spite of wired spastic editing, “Feast” blew me away. It kicked my ass, threw me out a window, and spit in my face. Excellent directing, over the top acting, literally nauseating gore, and a story that lays all the clichés on the table while breaking them in two. Mark my words, there’s nothing predictable about this. This is a horror movie.

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