Remember when action movies were cool and badass? Remember when action heroes were tough as nails and didn't take any shit and when they could shoot down a helicopter singlehandedly or walk through a hail of bullets unscathed? With the notable exception of Jason Statham, we just don't have badass action heroes like I remember as a kid. Back then, I watched Chuck Bronson movies mesmerized, and any bad acting or horrible plotting or insulting plot twists were lost on me because I just sat back and enjoyed the ride. "Telefon" was one of my favorites then, and I still love it now. Speaking of insulting plot twists, there's something quaint and amusing about how horrible and xenophobic the plot of this movie is.

The Woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep

The people would snap, remember their training, and any semblance of normalcy would be gone as they would revert to the killing machines they were meant to be.

There's something glorious about this plot. The movie came at a time when Americans still didn't trust the Russians and the filmmakers knew their audience and knew people would be horrified at the idea of Russian spies masquerading as Americans, and they ran with that idea and built a great little action piece around it. Of course when these Russians start getting triggered and going nuts and killing people, who else can save the day but Charles Bronson, and he jumps in, does some great ass kicking, and saves the day. The world is safe and the peasants rejoice. It's fun to watch all the mayhem and fight sequences play out, and Bronson lets his mustache and fists do most of the work for him, which is fine by me. This flick is everything an action film should be. Use it to keep you occupied until the next Statham film is released.

Not to spoil anything (no really, I'm about to spoil the ending) but it's cute to watch this movie try to have a socially conscious message at the end as Bronson realizes that the brainwashed Russian spies are really innocents because they didn't know what happened to them and they will live out their happy American lives if he can stop the people trying to release the trigger and turn them into killing machines, so that's what he does. The message of tolerance for Russians (as long as they're not EVIL Russians) is funny...and even more hilarious when you think about these people taking a poetry class and hearing that Robert Frost poem and going nuts and killing everyone, but NEVER MIND ALL THAT. The movie is great fun. Take it for what it is and you'll have a blast.

• Quentin Tarantino ripped off the key poem above in his neo-grindhouse romp "Death Proof."