Cinemusings - Rot Your Brain

HACK/SLASH - THE SERIES #13
Felix Vasquez Jr.

Okay, when the hell did Cassie Hack become Clint Eastwood?

I'm all for Cassie kicking ass and taking names, but "Hack/Slash #13" is very self aware to the point where Cassie and Vlad aren't even themselves. There's no vulnerability in Cassie, no sense that she's a plumber doing a job. She's spouting wise cracks and one liners everywhere, and hurling some of the cheesiest trash talk I've ever read. And Vlad is almost too intelligent for his own good. Where is the Vlad who talks like Bizarro? Why is Vlad suddenly Sherlock Holmes while Cassie plays second fiddle? Why is Cassie becoming an action movie star?

I don't know, I'm hoping this is just a fad, but "Hack/Slash #13" read like a fan fiction and that's probably because Mark Kidwell and Tim Seely divied up the pages and wrote half and half. Which adds to the feeling that this issue is really uneven, while Cassie is taken away from her usual mold of humility in favor of becoming another Buffy.

I read "Hack/Slash" because I hate Buffy. Don't do this, Seely and Kidwell. On the other hand, the sub-plot with Chris and Lisa is that dose of dementia that makes the series so lovable. Watching the dog of Nef become the new pet to the supporting team back at the home base is hilarious and Seely shows us what it's like to own a dog that's butt ugly, demonic, and very intrusive. I really loved Chris' attempts to pleasure himself all to have it end so abruptly. It's a good tongue in cheek buffer from the rather irritating dialogue Cassie and Vlad are spewing in this issue.

Nonetheless, the potential reveal in the upcoming issues is making the tension all the more entertaining. From the old woman who has Cassie marked as a serial killer, to the two grave robbers in the finale, I'm psyched to see what's coming up next. I'm not entirely certain as to who sent the grave robbers, but the big twist in the finale makes up for all the crummy one-liners Hack was chucking like it was 1985. I think I know who ordered this theft, and I'm beaming just thinking about it. But... less Cassie the Vampire Slayer, and more Cassie Hack, please.

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