Karen: If you're from Africa, why are you white?
Gretchen: Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

Admittedly, I was very, very weary to what "Mean Girls" had to offer me. If bad it would end up just another really bad vehicle for Lohan that was similar to that trash heap "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen", and perhaps if good, it would end up just as a poor man's "Heathers". In the end, it was still a poor man's "Heathers" except so much  more because of the talent on display from Tim Meadows who is hilarious, to Amy Poehler as a youth obsessed horrible mother, and Tina Fey who is a sheer highlight here. Based on the novel which is not a narrative story yet a text book/survival guide, Fey really pulls off a feat here. The story basically derives some elements from other movies, but makes the apt parallel of women and animals. Now, hear me out before you put me on the black list of women, the movie is a basic analyses of how women are like animals, which is accurate.

Directed by Mark Waters, "Mean Girls" is another catty high school comedy about Cady, a girl who moved from Africa with her family and is now introduced in to the high school mainstream, another jungle with students whom act like wildlife hunting in packs and basically attacking one another. Cady is exposed to the main clique in school, The Plastics. What "Mean Girls" has going for it above all of the other high school comedies is the talent behind it. Tina Fey adapts from the book, writing an utterly witty and clever film that is often times funny as hell. There were many times where I was surprisingly laughing out loud, but that's due mainly to the SNL cast members whom have roles throughout the film. Tim Meadows is a sheer highlight as the principal of the school, who has to deal with the pandemonium going on with the students, and his dead pan delivery of the sharp one-liners are utterly entertaining.

Take for example the scene where he attempts to solve "lady problems". Amy Poehler plays a mom struggling to stay young alongside her daughter with fake breasts that are described as "hard", along with Tina Fey who (is not only gorgeous, but) has a small standout role as a math teacher who has a sense of inside with the teens. Along with the comedic performances there are Lizzy Caplan and Daniel Franzese whom are hilarious as Cady's friends, and "The Plastics" whom weren't really that bad of people, when put in a different perspective. There's Amanda Seyfried, Rachel McAdams, and Lacey Chabert respectively... and I need to take a cold shower now, thank you, you bastards. Oh, yeah and there's some other girl named Lindsay something or other. She's good, too. The girls are pretty fascinating, not to mention the actresses give great performances.

They're very pre-"Desperate Housewives" sans the attention whore attitude of the actresses. Chabert's is the most interesting as Gretchen Weiners; she's such a desperate clinging follower, you can almost picture her as an over bearing mom in the suburbs seeking a place in the upper echelons of the status quo. Chabert gives the best performance here. Then there's Amanda Seyfried one of the utterly most gorgeous girls I've seen in years, she was a highlight on the first season of "Veronica Mars", but I digress. Either way with her doe-ish big bulbish eyes she embodies the ditzy blonde well, and it helps that I worship the ground she walks on. Rachel McAdams, who is always good, gives a very good performance as Regina George, the prima-donna alpha female of The Plastics who is pure phoniness in a beautiful package and really holds her own against the other cast, respectively.

The film never truly convinces us these villainesses are being anything but women, and that's the ultimate moral in the end. Fey's character gives a very interesting scene where she tests the girls to see who has actually talked about a girl and the results are not that surprising. Basically, they're bitches and evil because they're women being women? I didn't buy it, and Fey's script never bothered to make them an exception. "Mean Girls" ends up as not only a commentary on how women tend to be women when they want what they want, but it also shows how mindless people can be to the status quo through an utterly hilarious, smart and entertaining offering in to the teen comedy genre, that I ended up really liking.

"Mean Girls" ultimately loses steam on the second half with a very cheesy climax was too safe and too creatively rigid. Fey wasn't disappointing for most of the movie with a clever premise and great performances, but she completely drops the ball on the second half which ends up being very cheesy with the animal sequences, and the "where are they now?" montage involving the main characters. All of it was so long to sit through and never felt as if Fey was continuing her comedic streak as far as the movie went. It was a disappointing sad finale to what could have been a great piece of comedy.

In spite of an awfully cheesy second half that loses steam, "Mean Girls" is an very intelligent, often funny, well written and clever satire on high school and its status quo. It boasts an array of talent both comedic and dramatically with a great cast and a satisfying ending. Plus, there's the hot girls. Can't forget about them.

• As if the MPAA weren't moronic enough, they list this as PG-13 for "some teen partying". Whatever the hell that means.
• Amy Poehler who plays Mrs. George is only five years older than her on screen daughter Rachel McAdams (Regina George).
• Tim Meadows broke his hand before shooting and had to wear a cast, so the explanation that his character Mr. Duvall had carpal tunnel was added.
• Marry me, Amanda Seyfried.

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