What—you thought I wouldn’t review this episode? You fool. Showtime, or as I like to call it, HBO-lite created the “Masters of Horror” series more as a Halloween novelty and then in to a full on series. They then invited horror veterans to throw in their own tales in the proverbial cap and really garner ratings and acclaim. And then they took on Takashe Miike. And then they banned his creation. The equivalent of this being that I ask an artist to draw the most disturbing picture he can, and then when he does, I scream “Whoa! Too disturbing!” And then I tear it up. My question is: How can you give an arsonist a match and then not expect him to burn down a whole city? How can you let Takashe Miike direct something for you and then get angry when he actually directs?! Did anyone at Showtime even know who he was? Did they think he was just some tool like Michael Bay? So, his entry in to the series was banned from the station, and then America, and now is only available on DVD.

And I decided to review it, to decide if it was worth the hype. When you compare it to many other films from Miike, “Imprint” is a pretty standard and tame entry. Imagine Miike’s take on “Memoirs of a Geisha”. Hell, he would have made the film so much better. Miike is basically playing by the rules, but only by his rules. And oddly enough, this is also the most risqué entry in the entire season. “Imprint” as a whole is an excellent episode, the best of the entire season. The reason for “Imprint” being banned was for featuring too many dead fetuses. Oh, good night nurse, I’ve had it! I’m moving to England! Hello in there! You at the computer, remember this! Art is not supposed to be uplifting, art is also supposed to be depressing, provoking, insightful, and yes, even offensive! Get out of your bubble you philistine!

In a season filled with ups and downs, Miike actually presents us with one of the most grueling, disgusting, and grotesque episodes of the series. Miike sends up his masterpiece “Audition” by featuring yet another truly long awful torture sequence based around pins, contortion, and self-urination. Now, I can understand why this was a shocking entry to Showtime, but what did you expect from Takashe Miike after all? Did you really think he’d feature an episode with killer puppets, or a witch? Give me a break. It’s Takashe Miike! The man is sick, the man is deranged, and the man is loved by us horror fans because of that! “Imprint” is a purely ballsy episode that makes all the other installments look brutally lightweight. And only Miike can create something that can make me look away in sheer disgust and horror. Can’t we just let artists create?

You gave the arsonist a match, and he burned the whole shit down. Who are you to complain now? “Imprint” is the best of the season, possibly the best of the series, and you can attribute that to Miike. They gave the madman a chance to show off his madness, and they bowed out like cowards. For shame. Miike’s installment is a tale of cruelty, jealousy, deception, and… oh yes, torture!

• Restacking the deck:
  Top 5 episodes of season one:
  5. Incident on and off Mountain Road (Don Coscarelli)
  4. Cigarette Burns (John Carpenter)
  3. Sickgirl (Lucky McKee)
  2. Homecoming (John Landis)
  1. Imprint (Takashe Miike)
• Want reviews for season two? Let me know.
• George Romero was originally supposed to direct an episode but dropped out.