Talk about a gimmick. As soon as I walked into the theater to see this movie I was informed that I would have to pay an extra $2.50 fee to cover the cost of the 3D glasses I needed in order to view the imagery. I muttered under my breath about how I hoped the movie was worth it, but I still wasn't deterred from seeing the movie. You have to understand, the original "My Bloody Valentine" was one of those movies that had been hyped as such a classic of 80s horror for years that when I finally got to see it and was sorely disappointed, I was excited to see what a remake would do with the source material. Would the remake be able to correct the fatal flaws made in the original? Would the "3D" gimmick be worth the price of admission? The answer is yes and no. On the plus side, the acting in this movie is top notch.

In the opening credits of the movie, we learn that Tom was on duty the night of a mine collapse, and that the collapse was partly due to his negligence. Five miners were trapped in the mine, and only one survived, who is now in a coma. Of course, we all know that anyone in a slasher movie who is in a coma when the movie begins is bound to mysteriously wake up and start killing people, and that is exactly what happens here. Ackles, playing the oldest looking 20 year old in recorded history, is partying with his friends at the mine (um...isn't that dangerous?) when coma boy (AKA Henrey Warden) wakes up and starts massacring the partygoers. Tom is understandably traumatized by these events, so when he and three of his friends (including Sarah, the girl who is the love of his life) are the only survivors of this massacre, Tom runs away, leaving everyone else in town to pick up the pieces (and his best friend to pick up his girl).

When Tom returns, he finds that the town is upset at his decision to sell the mine (which is the town's lifeblood) and he also finds his girlfriend now married to his ex best friend. Kerr Smith, as the ex best friend Axel, is such a slimy skeezeball that we feel Tom's pain that Sarah has settled for such a scumbag. Axel is distant and cold, he cheats on Sarah, and we get the feeling that their marriage has deteriorated to the point that it is merely an afterthought at this juncture. Irene, the only other survivor of the massacre, is an aging beauty reduced to having one night stands in cheap motel rooms. It's really tragic to see how much has changed in the past ten years. The human aspect of the tragedy is enough to draw people into the story. Of course, as soon as Tom
shows up in town, the grisly murders begin again, and we gorehounds get our share of the nasty red stuff, all literally popping out of the screen in 3D.

There are decapitations and dismemberments, as well as many instances of backdoor open heart surgery. The 3D, far from the cheap gimmick I heard of back in the 50s, was the real star of the show here. I've experienced 3D before, but in this case, the effects actually seemed like they were popping out of the screen. While it does seem like overkill to have to watch EVERYTHING in 3D (look folks, an awkward love triangle presented IN 3D!) seeing the killer stalk out of the screen and flinching when a pickaxe seemed to come flying out of the screen at me was loads of fun.

So why do I get this sinking feeling in my stomach every time I think of the movie? If everything was so much fun, what's the downside? Look, I know I'm going to sound ridiculous here complaining that a slasher movie had a stupid twist at the end, but this one did. And it wasn't just stupid, it was lazy. The movie is set up as a suspenseful mystery because the audience is set off-kilter and they don't know who the killer is, and the problem is that wihtout that tension, the movie really has no excitement going for it. In "whodunit" type slasher movies like this, part of the fun is seeing all the evidence SEEM to point to one character, when in actuality this OTHER character is really the killer. This movie had the twist that is unfortunately becoming standard in such movies these days, where all the evidence seems to point to someone...and that person really IS the killer.

It's all very postmodern, you see, and the filmmakers are patting themselves on the back over how smart they are to make the audience think there's going to be a twist ending when the real twist is that there is no twist, but it falls flat in my eyes, and that taints my whole moviegoing experience and makes every positive thing I said about the plot feel like a lie. Yes, I was on the edge of my seat, but that's because I was trying to figure out what the twist would be. I was in fear for the characters, all thinking they were looking in the wrong direction, thinking the wrong person was the killer, and thus walking into a trap. There would have been zero tension if I'd known there was no trap after all. Here I was, forgiving the clunky dialogue and the cheesily obvious set ups for the killings, and the stupidity of the local law enforcement, and the growing pain in my eyes from the 3D glasses, all because I thought the ending was going to be cool. When all the scenarios I come up with in my mind while watching the movie are cooler than what I actually see on screen, I get cranky. I can't praise a movie for giving me a tense ride and then negating it by removing all reason for tension in the end. I simply can't get behind this trend of movies seeming to have a cool idea and then yelling "Psyche! There was no twist!" and running away with my money in hand. Bah humbug.

The movie is a lot of fun, the 3D is top notch, and the acting manages to convey a sense of sadness and loss, which I appreciated. As much as I disliked the original "My Bloody Valentine," I appreciated how those filmmakers tried to make the town's sense of loss as important to the story as the slasher mystery, and I'm glad this rehash did the same as well. I think the ending cheated me, though, and for that reason I can't fully recommend the movie without warning you that if you're mulling over the mystery while watching the movie, you're putting more thought into it than it deserves.