You don't go in to a movie called "Faces of Schlock" and expect high art that will be studied someday in a film school. From the get go, this collaborative effort knows what it is, it's a C Grade horror comedy movie that appeals to anyone in the mood for low brow entertainment and an attempt at a horror film that's somewhat respectable. Thanks to the lack of anthology films out there, "Faces of Schlock" is a respectable attempt at making a film with various stories to tell, but fails mainly because the men who sorted out this project comprise an insanely uneven and inane compilation. While the film isn't the worst movie ever made, "Faces of Schlock" has potential to be a great little horror anthology with blossoming filmmakers, but it's just pretty inane. What seems like an honest to goodness love letter to "Creepshow" and "Elvira" is really just a bunch of filmmakers who slapped their short films together and inserted a horror hostess to introduce them. Every opening credit is different, each segment has closing credits sequences, and it all feels so hopelessly patched together. There's even a blooper scene at the end of "Mike Wuz Here."

Amateurish, guys. Every director seems to want individual credit in a joint effort, so instead of opting for similar atmosphere and credits, they're instead more intent on forging their signatures with these segments. The lack of consistency is distracting and often times it feels so hastily stitched with each other instead of providing more of an effort to make it seem like a single experience. Hopefully this will be a learning experience for the men behind this title, and I think it's a good one to be had. Entertainment over egos, fellas. As expected, the entire vibe that does speak of synchronicity is the hard rock vibe every short possesses and it's carried well in to the closing credits. "Blood Witch" is a pretty nonsensical little short film with seeds of clever plot points behind it. A goth is about to be kicked out by her pious roommate for her wild ways, and instead of leaving she resurrects the demonic spirit of an ancient lesbian witch to knock her off and everyone else she hates.

But a surprise twist later brings about a goofy surprise ending, and it's a generally pointless endeavor. The tone is pretty twisted, and the premise is clever, but overall it goes on way too long, and overstays its welcome. "Mike Wuz Here" is an absurd horror comedy about a goofy man hired to run a projector at a local theater haunted by an undead worker who is loved by all. That is until the co-workers decide they're bored with him and try to boot him from his final resting place. Mike isn't happy. And he strikes back. The segment is all dialogue and very little substance and is another short that could have been cut for length and sanity. "One Foot in the Grave" is about a killer foot brought to life by black magic after a dancer loses it to an infection which makes for some goofy sequences including a doctor making foot jokes non-stop and a foot killing everyone in its path. It's yet another ho hum clunker. In spire of Ruby LaRocca, "Slay Ride" doesn't fare any better as a finisher, and is an otherwise tedious tale lacking in scares or entertainment value. It's a shame this movie couldn't have been more coherent and cohesive in the end.