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If you're in the mood to
watch a He-Man villain chase three buffoonish horror characters around
deserted locales, eternal night, and a dull as day old bread funeral
home, armed with a camera that seemingly never runs out of tape or
battery power, then step right up to "Laid to Rest." I can't believe I
waited anxiously for my chance to see this movie and wanted to welcome
the new horror character to the slasher fold while enjoying the creative
hook all to be welcomed with nothing but endless bickering among
characters, a killer who doesn't do much of anything unless the plot
conveniently calls for some scares to keep audiences awake, and fifteen
minutes involving three people trying to find the password to a cell
phone to call police. If that's not enough character Tucker has no idea
what a computer is nor does he have any idea what e-mail is when
character Steve offers to contact police over the internet (actual line:
"Send them one of them mail things"), but he's more than able to
understand what a password is on a cell phone and why it's needed. And
if that's not enough Lena Heady has a very small role here lending some
star credit as Tucker's ill-fated wife who bickers with him about Bobbi
Sue Luther's character and is mercifully offed before the action starts.
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The rest of
the film involves The girl (as the credits identify her by)
trying to piece together her origin she can't quite
remember, her strange draw to the funeral home, and the
Chrome Skull killer trying to find her and kill her for
reasons never quite explained. She jumps from new locale to
new locale meeting some of the most obnoxious characters
imaginable all of whom suffer grizzly deaths (thankfully)
while the director struggles to find something for his
slasher to do beyond hiding in shadows and walking very
slowly. |
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For
a movie revolving around a horror character, it's sad how the writer
can never seem to know what to do with him. Meanwhile we're in no
short supply of shrill survivors who scream and moan and bicker
pulling off some of the most illogical and asinine actions and
one-liners imaginable. Bobbi Sue Luther is one of the most shrill
final girls in horror movie history, shrieking and serving little
purpose beyond a plot device that ultimately means nothing to the
whole of the narrative. Meanwhile Hall's direction is sloppy relying
on grainy shaky cam and choppy editing that brings us out of the
story quite often. The ultimate identity of the girl is rather
anti-climactic and a realization that the audience has wasted their
time, all the while Chrome Skull's fate is hysterically laughable.
"Laid to Rest" is a god awful movie dripping with potential and a
villain that can be absolutely iconic if implemented creatively, and
it wastes it no pure nonsense from the minute the overwrought
opening credits cease.
While Chrome Skull is an
appealing and creepy slasher villain, "Laid to Rest" is a tedious and
awfully terrible movie with horrible acting, vapid characters, a story
that goes nowhere and painful direction. Currently it's a proposed
franchise in the works, but I don't think I want to spend anymore time
seeing where Chrome Skull ends up and how he comes back from the grave.
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