This is Felix, he’s currently twenty-three, and doing quite well for himself with all this movie razzmatazz. Recently, he just saw this smug self-serving comedy named “Happy Endings,” which begins on a quirky first half that then degrades into an awfully stupid and clunky second half. That’s the problem with “Happy Endings.” It serves itself to the audience with a story that spells itself out to them. And it can never reach a fucking point. The reason for this monologuing is because “Happy Endings” basically commits Felix’ cardinal rule for filmmaking. No narration. No fucking narration. It sucks, it’s lazy, it’s clunky, and it speaks of a director who couldn’t tell his story with proper editing and acting. Unless it’s noir, Felix doesn’t see why there has to be narration. It makes no sense. “Happy Endings” has this awful penchant for including these idiotic sidebar introductions that are obtrusive, distracting, and awfully goddamn annoying. The reason for this is because they tell the stories of these characters without leaving it up to the filmmaker to do so.

From a gold digging rock hussy, a loser rich father so anxious for a lover he’ll play the fool, while his son is a homosexual trying to discover if he’s actually homosexual because he likes men, or because it’s in style, and did anyone understand that stupid scenario with the surrogate mothers, and gay couple? Meanwhile, there’s an utterly ridiculous sub-plot involving Lisa Kudrow as a woman dating a masseuse who offers happy endings to women. After a filmmaker offers to give the identity of her estranged son in exchange for using it for a documentary, they embark on the mission of creating a mock documentary, all leading to an utterly lame brained finale that’s much too sappy for a film void of any sentiment from minute one. “Happy Endings” is a film that pretends to be smarter than its audience, and it does this through sub-plots that are so pretentious the audience will be in a position to find subtext. In reality though, it’s a mediocre comedy, with some of the stupidest sub-plots in years, wasting its ensemble cast. Thus, Felix’ narration ends.

"Happy Endings" is unfortunately a disappointment both as a comedy, and as a basic character study. Pretentious, self-serving, and absurd, it's a surefire waste of the talent it sports.

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