The great romantic comedies of all time: Barefoot in the Park, Sleepless in Seattle, and When Harry Met Sally, then there are the awful cheap imitators such as "Just Married". Teaming likable actress Brittany Murphy with obnoxious bonehead Ashton Kutcher, the two play people are brought together by physical comedy and fall in love.

The odd thing is in the sloppy script we never find out why they fall in love. We're given the excuse that they have a connection, and fell in love, but other than that there's no real argument as to why these two people should be getting married in the first place. Murphy who plays Sarah is a rich girl who doesn't dress like one nor is she believable in the role who falls in love and marries Tom who is poor but has a beach house... okay? Anyways, there's no chemistry between these two people, so there's no real reason why they should be getting married.

So in a contrived plot ala "Out of Towners" the two experience horrible and "humorous" incidents that will surely sabotage their relationship and their honeymoon. The odd thing is Sarah's family hates Tom. Why? It's never explained, but they want him to fail and they want them to split up, but they're fighting to stay together through painfully obvious jokes and gags, and trite predictable situations. This has all the comedy movie cliches: hijinks in a cramped airplane bathroom (something we haven't seen before), the cliche snooty French people who complain about the filthy Americans, and Sarah's stuffy rich family who hates the fiance for no particular reason other than he's poor.

There's nothing in the film to honestly like except to know that it obviously markets off of these two stars beauty and nothing more. There's barely anyone else in the film beside them and they do nothing but repeat the same lines and situations over and over without sparking a single laugh or chuckle. If you look closely you can see Veronica Cartwright who has a very small role only intended for her to deliver the line "Call me pussy", and then she exits never to be seen from again. Smart screenwriters would focus on the mother and father and why they want these two to fail so much. "Meet the Parents" was obviously not a good film, but at least we got to see why the character of Deniro wanted his daughter's relationship to fail.

Ashton Kutcher who earned fame by (let's face it) dating Demi Moore doesn't spark a singular comedic bone in the film, but instead relies on his usual device of screaming at the top of his lungs which he passes off as comedy. Ashton Kutcher does the same ridiculous yelling he tries to pull off as comedic with obvious lines like "Pussy has never hated me. Now I feel loved!" and then he screams some more, and then he delivers another line with a top of the lungs scream and then another painfully obvious line. Kutcher is tolerable compared to Murphy who attempts to come off as adorable but instead is just irritating to the point where eating glass is more entertaining. She's rich but she dresses like a rather average girl, and giggles a lot. I mean it; she giggles, and laughs, and chuckles and scoff like an airhead expecting the audience to find it simply adorable but it's just annoying.

It's obvious the filmmakers and studios only intended to market off of the two stars' beauty simply because there are a lot of shots with Kutcher shirtless, Murphy with cleavage and so on, we get a lot of physical comedy from the two which is pretty the same thing including Kutcher getting hit in the head by an ashtray, the two falling through a wall in a rundown tenement, and probably the most ridiculous inconsistency when the two get their car covered with snow and spend the night there considering people who get covered with snow lose oxygen and freeze within hours. But what good are two frozen stars? Sounds good. The two main characters are very unlikable and they're simply tools to add the comedy where the plot should be.

The dialogue is awful with obvious gags and wordplay, and where the comedy delivery fails cue Kutcher desperately doing his usual screaming at the top of his lungs to draw laughter, a quickly tiresome shtick. The acting is way over the top most of the time with Kutcher never really playing off Murphy, and Murphy over doing it with her shrill repetitive loud laughter as she reacts to situations Kutcher causes. There are a lot of painfully obvious plot devices including Murphy's ex-boyfriend coming to France to interrupt the two's honeymoon. Team that up with a painfully unfunny, tacked on and terrible happy ending and you have the results for an awful fiasco. "Just Married" is a bitterly mean spirited, vapid and unfunny product of a studio whose sole intention is to market off these two and not make a good movie.

This is nothing more than an awful manufactured bi-product with the sole intention of marketing off of Brittany Murphy and Ashton Kutcher's career without any real intentions of making an honest to goodness romantic comedy.