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Cinema Crazed took
a chance and luckily were granted an interview with Michael J.
Nelson. To those whom are truly with the in-crowd, you know who the man
is. But to those whom aren’t aware, not only do I pity you, but: Mr.
Nelson was the head writer, and the one time host (successor to
creator and original host Joel Hodgson) of one of the greatest shows
of all time "Mystery Science Theater 3000" which lasted eleven
excellent seasons and spawned a very funny film.
After ending on the
Sci Fi Channel in 1999, Nelson went on to author six books including
"Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese", a collection of essays "reviewing"
bad "A" grade movies, and “Death Rat”. He now speaks at colleges,
is a musician, a music aficionado, loves electronics, and
is a very popular film critic reviewing big budget bad films.
I’ve been an avid
watcher for many, many years and mourned the show's end when Sci-Fi
willingly killed it off slapping the fans in the face and then
airing reruns for a few years. But as one who sat with them and
watched “Horror at Party Beach” and “Manos”, I was thrilled to see
Mr. Nelson agree to offer an interview and answer questions during
his busy schedule.
After
having my inevitable geek spaz which consisted of squealing and some
jumping up and down, I calmed down and sent along some questions,
some creative, some thought-provoking, and Mr. Nelson was kind
enough to answer them with thoughts about the death penalty,
evolution, and an odd rant about speakers. Here they are (Warning:
There is some shameless fan gushing. Shield your eyes):
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I
just would like to thank you first of all. I and the
site's contributors (and our readers) are hardcore fans
of “Mystery Science Theater 3000”, I have been for
years, and I think it's one of the rare brilliant cult
shows of the past thirty years, this is a true highlight
for me.
You’re very kind.
You were able to reach so deep in to an unspoken human
tradition of mocking films. Years after the end of the
show do you still find yourself mocking films while with
your friends or family?
Yeah, it’s kind of in the blood. Plus most movies aren’t
very good, so it’s kind of hard to avoid.
As a follow up, are you still surprised a show about a
guy and two robots sitting down to watch a movie became
such a cult classic?
I was kind of naïve when I started on the show, so I
just assumed that we would always get to do it, whether
or not anyone ever watched. But it was still great fun
to watch as the show just kind of grew, and we started
to see that some people not only liked it, they really
liked it.
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Crow:
Merlin's hop?
Mike: Try the Merlin chop. A half a
pound of Merlin served with steak fries,
vegetable of the day and whipped dessert.
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The common phrase now shared by film fans of the
modern age after a bad film is "The guys at MST3K
should tear this to pieces", what recent films do
you think would truly deserve being mowed down by
the group at The Satellite of Love?
I would
love to have a crack at the whole list of
Oscar-nominated films.
An
obvious question I have to ask, bear with me:
Do you have a favorite episode of "MST3K"?
(Mine
would have to be the "Manos" episode.)
I am
fond of “Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders.” I saw
it recently with my sons, and they laughed a lot (so
that’s part of it.) But I laughed hard at the line
when Crow says [as Merlin] “Remember to believe in
the power of magic… or I’ll kill you.”
Is
there a film you aired on the show that you didn't
think was all that bad?
"Hamlet", I guess. At least the script was good.
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What was easier in the long run to mock: bad foreign
films, or B grade Schlock?
Home
grown schlock was far easier. The dubbing made it
really hard with the foreign stuff.
Do
you agree with fans that the Sci-Fi Channel royally
shafted the show once it moved to the network by
under-advertising, constantly shifting timeslots,
and then completely ignoring the series finale which
should have been historic?
Well,
they didn’t really like the show, so it’s no
surprise. To be clear, though, this was the later
regime that came in toward the end. The people who
brought us on board were mensches by and large.
What's Tom Servo really like?
He’s a
total jackass. He always stole my Powerbars and
blamed it on Gypsy.
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Prima Donna, extraordinaire.
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Be
honest, did you exterminate Cro and Servo when the
show ended?
If by
that you mean, “cryogenically suspend them” then
yes, I’ll cop to that.
Do
you think film as an art form has managed to evolve
or de-evolve in terms of quality and originality now
that filmmaking is becoming much more accessible?
I’ll answer that with
these four words: "Deuce Bigalow: European
Gigolo".
Now
that methods for making films has become much more
available in terms of home software that enables
easy filmmaking, do you think there are much more
worse films out today than there were forty years
ago?
I think
in terms of volume, yes, there’s more (say, 800
metric ton of bad films.) But not in terms of ratio. |
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What do
you think about the current trend in Hollywood of
remaking any and every film? And are there any remakes
that particularly angered or irritated you?
Well, for
years I’ve been shopping this idea: “Deputy Dawg: The
Motion Picture”, with no success. So, yeah, I’m
bitter that they’re remaking the wrong stuff.
Which current film director do you think
needs to stop and take up a new profession?
I will take
the high road and practice “if you can’t say something
nice” diplomacy. (*cough* Joel Schumacher *cough
cough*).
The
most popular complaint among the movie going audience
today is their anger towards lack of consideration in
movie theaters, and deteriorating of well mannered movie
goers. Are there any complaints you have toward that?
Any gripes or thoughts?
I’m pretty
forgiving about such things. I believe that people who
bring small children into the theater and let them run
around should only be given life imprisonment with hard
labor and not the death penalty.
Do you
keep up with The Golden Raspberry awards? If so, what do
you think about this year’s nominations?
I
haven’t seen them, but I assume the name “Tara Reid” is
mentioned somewhere.
(Damn, right on the money. Reid is
nominated for “Alone in the Dark”. Nelson, you’re good!)
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Razzie bait |
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You seem to have an obsession with film, I don’t know if
you’re aware. Do you have any other obsessions or
addictions?
Pipe
tobacco, stereo equipment, and vacuum brewed coffee.
Who is hotter: Barbarella,
or Torgo?
Barbarella
has marginally better legs.
You did an excellent
impression of Torgo on the show, are there any other
impressions your friends or family get a kick out of?
I do an
impression of an old woman who once interrupted me while
I was playing piano at a retirement home. The folks at
MST used to beg me to do that. It’s technically a very
difficult impression and I’ve never met anyone else who
can do it. I’m very proud of that.
Another obvious question:
What’s your favorite film of all time?
It changes
all the time, but right now I’m very fond of the most
recent “Nicholas Nickleby.” I love to see bullies get
what’s coming to them, and to see good triumph over
evil, and Dickens has that in spades. Plus it’s just
extremely well done: Jim Broadbent and Juliet Stevenson
are simply amazing as Mr. and Mrs. Squeers.
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What
are some of your thoughts on the tabloid craze? Why do
you think the
media is sure we need to know about Nick
and Jessica and or Britney Spears?
What have
you heard about Nick and Jess?! Do you know anything?!
You have to tell me!!
To
borrow from the supreme rulers James Lipton and Bernard
Pivot:
What noise do you hate?
The sounds
inside a water park.
What
noise do you love?
The sound of
trains.
What's
your motto?
“Live
without mottos.”
Shameless gauge: Is Cinema Crazed not the coolest site
ever?
Um, yes, it
is not the coolest site ever. Wait, that didn’t come out
right.
(You bastard,
lol)
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Mike's motto:
"Live without mottos."
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Buy Mike's Book!
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Shameless plug time: Which one of your books do you
suggest we buy?
“Death
Rat”! It’s partially about a big rat. Everybody
loves big rats.
Whom
are some of your literary idols?
P.G.
Wodehouse. Shakespeare. Twain. C.S. Lewis. Peter DeVries.
Robert Benchley.
What
projects are you currently working on at the moment?
A children’s
book. A DVD commentary for a re-release of “The Little
Shop of Horrors.” A grown-up book. Developing a video
series.
Do you
have any closing comments you’d like to share for the
readers?
Yes. A good
loudspeaker should have a flat frequency response not
only on axis, but as far as 60 degrees off axis
(horizontally). 60 degrees represents the “second
arrival” and has a huge impact on how you perceive the
quality of the sound. The “third arrival” is 30 degrees
off axis. So before purchasing a set of speakers, make
sure it sounds good off axis.
(Hint:
speakers with 4th order crossovers tend to be
better behaved off axis, and active crossovers, though
rare, are probably the best solution of all.)
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And that's it, folks. We'd like to
thank Mr. Mike Nelson for taking time out of his busy schedule
to answer our questions. He's a nice guy, and funny as hell. This
was a great experience.
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