I just wasn’t a fan of “House on Haunted Hill.” For all intents and purposes William Castle’s utter masterpiece was turned into a Nine Inch Nails video with rapid fire editing, goofy faux atmosphere, CGI overload, and terrible acting even from Geoffrey Wright. “Return to House on Haunted Hill” was something I really wanted to give a chance. Thankfully, this is not a sequel in name only. This new installment takes place shortly after the ending of the first film where Sara’s (Ali Larter) sister Ariel discovers she’s killed herself after a mental breakdown, and learns of the house where Stephen Price held his party and allegedly went on a murder spree. Cue plot catalyst. Ariel discovers by a professor that there’s an ancient statue of a satanic cult somewhere in the hill house and he wants it. Lo and behold we have a rival group of relic hunters who also want it and will kill anyone for it. Cue plot motivation and plot device.

Now, Ariel wants into the Hill house to see what made Sara go mad, and this statue supposedly will hold the secrets to this evil. Was this a masterpiece? Hell no, but I just enjoyed the overall novel approach and more stable grasp of the concept that Garcia brings to the table in this sequel. It helps that it’s in keeping with the former film’s continuity, but the overall entertainment value here really makes for a good ninety minute experience. It’s better than the first film and Garcia’s pure visual style and his simplistic approach to the continuity is entertaining.

And interestingly enough, the characters here aren’t as interchangeable. We have a typical Asian female gun toting henchman, and a sympathetic bald Brit, as well as our heroine who comes off much more courageously thanks to the solid performance by Amanda Righetti, and of course we have Erik Palladino who is likable as the resident antagonist and Cerina Vincent who is just so much fun to watch. Every character here had me reeling in my seat; I mean how can you not love villains who are so stupid they actually attempt to shoot ghosts? The pacing of the story is kept neat and tidy, and I was just never bored. This is actually one of the few sequels in the past year that have succeeded in living up to its hype, and that’s thanks to a good utilization of our demonic entities who force our characters to get through the bowels of hell to escape this smart house.

So, seriously, can someone explain what the entire purpose of the little statue was supposed to be? Did it mean that the statue held the powers of the house, or was it just keeping the doctor out of harms way of the vengeful spirits of the patients? It’s just hard to believe there’d be a small statue that kept this house evil rather than suggesting that all the horrible acts of torture tainted the place. But hey, I’m just a fan of karmic horror movies, it’s silly to think that a stupid small statue kept all the forces of evil locked in the house for so many years, and really just cheats us. Beyond that the whole hook to the film is just a lame and formulaic retread of past horror films involving a relative of a mad person discovering a mysterious force for themselves after the death thus cuing the inevitable thoughts of insanity after grief. Is Ariel going insane or is she being haunted? We know the answer to that question, so don’t pretend it’s a mystery.

Maybe this caught me in a good mood, but I don’t care, because this is perfect Halloween viewing. Get your friends, some beers, a lot of chips and sit for ninety minutes watching gratuitous nudity, gruesome murders, and a sequel that topples the original in novelty, entertainment, and sheer visuals, period.

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