Cinemusings - Rot Your Brain

JENNA JAMESON'S SHADOW HUNTER #1
Felix Vasquez Jr.

Art by Mukesh Singh
Cover by Greg Horn
Script by Christina Z

"From the vivid mind of Jenna Jameson and Witchblade co-creator Christina Z comes Shadow Hunter, the sexiest and deadliest demon slayer ... ever!!"

Hey, I have nothing against Jenna Jameson, and personally I have nothing against actors, musicians, and or porn stars wanting to create a vehicle for themselves and win the hearts of fan boys by creating their own comic book, but if you're going to do it, do it right. Which means, stow the ridiculous hyperbole that you see above, and--well--be creative! The whole time reading this, all I could think of was: her name is Jezzerie Jaden. They don't even try for a different name. It's just two names starting with a J. I'm shocked they didn't try Jarna Janson, or Jen James. As for "Shadowhunter," it's pretty damn terrible. I don't care if it's Joss Whedon, this story is convoluted and terribly cliché, while the entire premise is absolutely far-fetched. Jezzerie is a tattoo artist who lives in a condo, BUT is trying to make ends meet with a boyfriend who brings women by to party.

She also walks around in skimpy outfits, and wonders why she can't be taken seriously by anyone. Meanwhile, the past life regression therapy is tedious hinting at this typical comic device that Jezzerie may or may not be a reincarnated warrior woman. The options Z has set forth bring me to three possible conclusions. Jezzerie is:

a) A reincarnated warrior for good.
b) A reincarnated warrior for evil.
c) The hybrid of good and evil.

And her "past life" and imaginary battles with demons will eventually lead to real struggles for the fate of Earth, I can only imagine, and frankly I'm not seeing a reason to go beyond issue one. If that's not cause enough she even has a tattoo that doubles as a birthmark, that--you guessed it--is connected to her mysterious confrontation with a powerful demon lord. What fun. The dialogue from Christina Z is terrible, with some of the clunkiest one-liners Z can offer in one issue, and presumably will offer in the next issues. Jezzerie is nothing more than a composite of Jenna with a broadly drawn personality of a mediocre heroine from any run of the mill fantasy comic book. There's no reason for sympathy, and really no cause to root for her. The breathtaking art and splashes from Mukesh Singh do very little to whiz past the thirty eight pages of this tedious tome. Even with some truly spectacular action shots, there's just nothing to take away from when it's all over. I saw the climax come, I saw the "To Be Continued..." shoot out, and it was one long yawn.

Better luck next time, Jenna.

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