Upon seeing the preview for this movie I was absolutely taken (no pun intended – but you have to admit that was pretty good.) How could I not be? The preview depicts a very serious looking Liam Neeson speaking to the captor of his kidnapped daughter. In a cool and controlled voice Neeson says the following: “If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.” Just once in my life I want to say something that cool. Up to now the closest I’ve gotten has been saying, “Keep the change,” with a wink to a cute girl who worked at an ice cream shop. That didn’t work out too well because I ended up owing her another dollar.

So with those bad-ass quotes floating through my mind, my plan was to see Taken. Days turned into weeks and a trip to the movie theater was put on the back burner due to a busy schedule. I didn’t have the time because of work and grad classes and forgot about it until Shamus, a friend of mine, mentioned that he had seen it.

“Was it any good?” I questioned him, curious if the movie had lived up to the preview.

“Awesome,” Shamus replied. “The first twenty minutes sets you up for mayhem…then there’s an hour of straight ass-kicking…and then ten minutes of wrap-up. Great ‘guy’ movie. You need to see it.”

We shared a similar taste in movies so his recommendation was good enough for me. The planets aligned in my favor that week – my class schedule was lighter and a bootlegged copy of Taken made its way to my welcoming arms.

That’s when the ass-kicking begins. Mills comes out of his retirement with a vengeance and goes on an all out Albanian killing spree. His attention to detail and ‘very particular set of skills’ are a treat to watch as he plays with spy gadgets, tracks and punishes Albanians, and punches the shit out of a few windows. Mills’ mission is absorbing and Neeson does a great job merging the angst of a worried father with the resolve of a government operative.

As fun as Taken was to watch, it was also a learning experience for me. It made me appreciate a few things and cleared up some lingering doubts I had been entertaining. Here are a few of the thoughts I’d like to share:

1. A good Karate Chop is worth its weight in gold. I think Steven Segal was responsible for giving the karate chop a bad name. As he got fatter and his movies got worse (I didn’t say they were good to begin with) Segal’s use of the chop seemed contrived. It lost its mystique and was forgotten for years. Thanks to Neeson, the karate chop is back with style. Neeson utilizes it to its full extent. He karate chops Albanians in the neck, head and mid-section with poetic beauty. He karate chops goons, thugs and henchmen with lightening quick speed. Why he even karate chops an elevator button so hard it goes to a negative floor. The body count had to be over fifty -- in each death the karate chop was used and, in my opinion, completely necessary (Including this, I referenced ‘karate chop’ eight times in this paragraph – if you didn’t think I was awesome before I would suggest reconsidering your position…karate chop!...that makes nine.)
2. Bootleg DVD’s are the shit. I don’t mean to take anything away from the movie going experience, but there’s something to be said about a good-quality bootleg. I have a cousin who dates a guy, who knows a guy by the name of ‘Dumpster Doug.’ ‘Dumpster Doug’ sells bootleg DVD’s out of an old cigar box. I don’t know how he got his name or where he got his cigar box, but as long as ‘Dumpster Doug’ can continue to supply me with high-quality bootleg DVD’s, I am in his debt. Thank you ‘Dumpster Doug.’
3. Never trust an Albanian. Nuff said.
    

As much as I enjoyed Taken, there was one element of the movie that was flawed. The daughter of Brian Mills. Seventeen year old Kim is played by twenty-five year old Maggie Grace. It is totally transparent that Grace is nowhere near seventeen and despite the writers’ best efforts, it only succeeds in making this part of the film less legit. Grace is dressed in cheesy, twelve year old girl attire, she gets a pony for her birthday and she squeals at everything in sight. It was just too forced.

I think Taken can be summed up with one aptly used phrase: “Breakin’ necks and cashin’ checks.” It’s obvious that Taken is a Bourne Identity knock-off but it really doesn’t matter – it’s fun to watch and easy to enjoy…karate chop!