In this fashion, let's talk about
some big shot movies that a lot of people are
really interested in seeing, and then maybe some
that I really want to see or have some strange
bit of interest in. First off:
Star Trek
Now what is it about Star Trek that pulls people
down the middle? There are groups of people that
are torn between Star Wars and Star Trek and I
will admit, for the longest time, I was a Star
Wars kind of guy. I grew up with Star Wars. It
was my bread and butter as a kid. So I never got
into Star Trek. I liked some of the later movies
with Picard as the Captain (as he is the better
Captain), but I just couldn't give a rat's ass
about Kirk.
The trailer looks good. Not great, not meh, but
good. It's interesting to watch what Star Trek
looks like to J.J. Abrams now. It looks nothing
like Star Trek looked like in the 60s or even in
the 70s and 80s in the movie. It doesn't look
like there's much space for camp. It looks like
an action movie, one set in space. It looks big,
loud, and pompous, and that's where I think they
went in the wrong direction. Sure, they've got
some interesting choices for the movie (Quinto
does look exactly like Spock, I love Pegg and
Cho and it's always nice to see Eric Bana in
anything), but the movie just looks a little too
overblown. Like they went in a direction they
shouldn't have gone.
I mean, really, do we need that first scene with
the car and the slow motion? Or the stinging
good looks of James T. Kirk as he looks around
all beaten up. So dumb. May as well have him in
a wet t-shirt in one scene and just say "Look
girls, he's all kinds of moody, dark, and sexy."
Stupid.
Friday the
13th
What? Really? Did we need a new Friday the 13th?
Seriously? When will Michael Bay stop? When will
people stop paying for tickets to films that he
has anything to do with in any fashion? And how
come people don't stop and think, wait, he
produces now? This guy can't read, write, or
create a plot that makes any sense whatsoever,
what right does he have to remaking classic
horror films?
This is a classic film that they seem to be
readying for the MTV/Myspace crowds. Kids that
don't know how to watch movies older than they
are. It's depressing, and man does this look
stupid. It gets some credit for using narration
from Jason's mom as well as using the
ch-ch-ch-ah-ah-ahs in the preview, but if you've
never seen this movie, you know a kid in a
theater thinks that's the lamest thing they've
ever heard. And now they're giggling at your big
scary badass. Too bad Michael Bay. You still
suck.
2012
What? Really? This is another one where I'm
sitting here scratching my head and thinking
that the world would be a better place if Dean
Devlin and Roland Emmerich were forced to stop
making movies in the mid-90s. It's got a lot of
actors I like (Cusack, Chiwetel, Glover), but
none of them can be seen for even a small amount
of time in the trailer, all we get is a monk
hitting a big giant bell and a massive tidal
wave destroying his temple.
And then we're confronted with our mortality and
the fact that the world's governments will be
unable to stop these things from destroying us.
You know what's the biggest problem I have with
this trailer? They're making the viewers believe
that the world will end at the end of the movie
because 2012 is when this movie is set and
that's when the icecaps melt or whatever.
But anyone who's seen The Day After Tomorrow
knows that they love their big dumb endings with
the big dumb set pieces and nothing people care
about. I mean, humanity won in that movie,
right? They didn't all die. They survived. So is
this a sequel to that? Or is it just another
dumb bunch of people fighting to survive against
nature? How many more movies do I have to sit
through previews like this before someone says:
no. That's enough. No more. I'd rather watch
Friday the 13th. Or the next movie.
Harry Potter
and the Half-Blood Prince
I couldn't be any more bored. I saw the first
three movies and was bored. I never got into the
books. I want Harry and Ron to fall in love and
just say to hell with the rest of the book
series. The last movie is just a direct remake
of the awesome TV show Black Books but with
Harry and Ron as lovers running the bookstore.
Then and only then would I see this movie.
The Wrestler
This one is a big treat. A treasure in a sea of
dogshit. I love Darren Aronofsky. I will swear
to the end of my life that between him and David
Fincher, they are the two greatest filmmakers
going right now. To hell with Spielberg and to
hell with Del Toro and to hell with Peter
Jackson. These two can do no wrong. That's a
true statement, and I will argue until my face
is blue about that.
And it's great that they both have movies coming
out close to each other. But this is about the
Wrestler. A big comeback performance for Mickey
Rourke, who looks outstanding in this film.
Real. True to life. A big slab of meat that is
there to get busted and beaten around and will
pick himself back up. Just like Rourke in real
life.
I even feel like I might be able to deal with
the soundtrack with music from Springsteen, who
I very much do not like. But I can deal with it
for this movie.
It looks nothing like Aronofsky's other films.
It's pulled back. It's more human. It doesn't
rely on trick cameras or special effects or a
crazy science fiction mathematical Apocalypse
equation. It's about a man who wants back on
top. And I cannot help but be utterly blown away
by how this looks. And I know, being that all of
his movies have torn my heart to pieces, I can
only assume this will do the same.
I'm ready and I don't care. I want to see this
movie so badly that I hope it bypasses LA and
NYC for my neck of the woods so that I can see
it sooner rather than later. It looks
astonishing. It doesn't rely on fast cars and
big explosions. It just looks like it has heart.
It has a story. And that is what I look for in
movies these days.
See you next time. |
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