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A zebra can’t change its stripes, and in
spite of the rumblings from the movie world, the Asylum will not stop
making rip offs of bigger movies, because money talks and it also has no
dignity or artistic merit. So, I’ve come to terms with the Asylum’s
ridiculous practices, and set my sights on bigger fish with more
importance in the film world, than some company making low budget
rehashes with similar titles. “Transmorphers” was a pathetic concept the
first I heard of it, because—well, look at the title. What robot movie
does the title hearken to? Regardless, I approached this new effort with
optimism because the cover art is just great; whoever works at the art
department should be commended for constantly adding appeal to the turds
the studio trots out to stores, and hell, the cover for “Transmorphers”
is just beautiful.
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But hell, I had confidence that the much
maligned studio could manage to at least pull off a guilty
pleasure science fiction cheapie, because there have been
low budget science fiction epics that have worked because of
the low production costs. My constant tussles with Leigh
Scott notwithstanding, “Transmorphers” just looks visually
dynamic.
The settings, aside from being basically the
norm with the cheapies, look well placed amidst the
post-apocalyptic landscape, with great photography. |
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And of course, if you’re willing to
ignore the fact that almost all the special effects look like
screensavers for Windows 95, there’s a certain charm to “Transmorphers”
from the stern tone, to the simplistic plot, right down to the opening
title that’s so similar to “Transformers,” it’s just hysterical.
We follow the last remaining survivors of an
invasion on Earth years before, in what looks like a hybrid of costumes
from “Babylon Five” with a neo--“Battlestar Galactica” tone, and Scott
attempts to unfold some truly unique chemistry between our shipmates
that misses the mark on being as complex, but is still rather
entertaining, nonetheless.
Scott
performs the Cameron tone by bringing together this group of soldiers to
clash over leadership, and really just let the claustrophobia eventually
get to them, setting the stage for brawls, and grunts, and it's never
too over the top.
The characterization is just a combination
of military lingo and back story, and Scott steeps the story in on-ship
politics, and pitting two opposite teams of soldiers against one another
who intend on putting a stop to the ruling class of robots once and for
all. The robots in particular, never follow a
specific principle here. They can turn into almost anything that the
moment calls for, but they’re gladly not reduced to mere plot devices
all the time, which is satisfactory enough, and draws from the logic or
lack thereof. For once, a film that promises robot wars, gives us robot
wars, and we get what we pay for, and after “Supercroc,” it’s awfully
refreshing to see robots fighting and tussling with human soldiers.
Scott knows how to make these villains appealing without relegating them
to cartoon characters, or further Transformer knock offs.
The shortcomings of the production just adds
to the appeal, rather than serve as a caveat, and that's what keeps
Scott's science fiction film a plus.
Overall,
“Transmorphers” excels because the story just works, and the ensemble
cast of Asylum regulars that form an interesting chemistry, even during
some rather bad performances from a select few; particularly there’s
Matthew Wolf who is a stand out as the rebellious Mitchell who engages
in a bit of a power struggle and love triangle with the commander. If
you can just ignore the overall ancient CGI, it will strike all the
right chords for those who love schlocky low tech sci-fi that’s dressed
to look above par thanks to Scott’s direction.
As with all Asylum films, most of the cast
looks as if they’re difficultly trying to ace that Drama Class
performance, so they all look as if they’re basically just going punch
for punch in an acting class. They grimace, they yell, they walk in
circles during heated arguments, and many of them are never truly
convincing in their roles. Rather than fit into these characters, they
often look more like they’re forcing themselves to inhabit these
mannerisms, and personalities, are never as genuine as they should be.
Not a single character sticks out beyond Mitchell, and that’s a shame. A
movie like this should have at least two banner characters an audience
can root for, and most of the personalities on-screen were awfully
interchangeable and forgettable. Scott tries to pad up the film before
the final battle with inter-office politics of a sort, as outside
elements are introduced, relationships are re-forged, and the dialogue
becomes utterly tedious to sit through. There are almost at five
different arguments about positions and power, and about seven different
rants about war, and standing up for the world, before we actually get
to the real meat and bones of the film that Scott takes so long to get
to. Rather than engage us in the characters, and show us the carnage,
they become two truly different elements, and the baggage we’re fed in
the first half feels just like preamble.
I’m not one to put myself in a perpetual
state of denial for the sake of spite. “Transmorphers” is…
good. Granted, there’s your usual
list of caveats which are the norm for an average Asylum production, but
because it looks damn good for a cheap rip-off, and is rather
entertaining to sit through, “Transmorphers” is worth your time. And no,
Asylum didn't pay me to say that.

- Also known as
"Robot Wars," the original title.
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