The return of Raging at
Batman coincides with the Return of Bruce Wayne. Clever
idea, right? It only took a year, but he’s back
everybody, and he’s following in the footsteps of
someone else. Namely, Steve Rogers. Hmm. This is going
to be a touchy subject for a lot of people. But that’s
the point of Raging. Unpopular subjects. On a now-weekly
basis (hopefully). So we’ll start with some setup.
Batman was “killed” by Zeta Beams from a gun by Darkseid.
Let that set in. It originally looked like he died in a
helicopter crash during Batman RIP and then getting shot
in the stomach. But in true bullshit fashion, the
creators of Batman RIP had Batman die in ANOTHER BOOK.
Not in the book titled Batman RIP. But in a book called
Final Crisis.
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Fine,
whatever. Score one point for Marvel for
having Captain America “die” in his own
book. And then stay “dead” for 2+ years. DC
couldn’t stay away from the Bat-well for a
year, let alone an ISSUE, before they hinted
at the return of Bruce Wayne. It’s right
there in the end of the last issue of Final
Crisis, he’s at the beginning of time,
drawing on cave walls.
I’ve touched on
this subject before, but I wanted to bring
it up again because of how stupid it is. So
essentially, Captain America and Bat-Wayne
(he’ll have to be coded as this, just like
Bucky-Cap has to be coded as such now) both
follow the same path but in different
directions. Wayne goes back to the beginning
of time and flows through times that he’s
never been a part of, Cap goes back in time
and relives his own life. |
Okay, fine. Coincidence
in the stories, whatever. But here’s where the
coincidence “ends” and strangeness begins.
Bruce Wayne comes back
and reveals that he’s been bankrolling Batman since the
beginning. Bat-Dick is staying Batman and Bat-Wayne is
becoming a new Batman. Okay, that doesn’t remind anyone
of Captain America?
Bruce Wayne is
bankrolling Batman. And has been ever since the
beginning. That doesn’t sound like Tony Stark admitting
that he wasn’t Iron Man but Iron Man was a staff member
of Stark Industries/Enterprises who has been his
personal bodyguard forever? Hmm. Okay, let’s look at
something else.
Bat-Wayne is going to go
country to country, continent to continent, and create
Batman Inc. I absolutely hate this idea so much it
hurts.
Batman works because
there is one of him. Period. End of sentence. Sure,
creating a network of Batmen lends credence to the whole
idea of Batman as a myth, a dark entity that strikes
fear into the hearts of criminals. But in the end:
everyone knows Batman is real. BRUCE WAYNE JUST
ANNOUNCED IT ON GODDAMN TELEVISION.
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So there you have it. Him as a shadowy
figure, hinted at, whispered about, and
shrouded in secrecy is now torn away from
the character. One of his best aspects that
most fans loved holding onto is now gone.
Stripped to the core to reveal a new
corporate Batman and Grant Morrison says
that this was his plan all along. Just like
his plan was being late with the issues and
giving us a wrap up that was both stupid and
completely worthless and unnecessary. If DC
had any balls, Bruce Wayne would have stayed
dead. If Marvel had balls, Steve Rogers
would have stayed dead.
But they are
cash cows. Just like Peter Parker will never
die and stay dead, none of the major
characters will. We all know this, it’s an
unwritten rule of comic books. |
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Everyone knows that
people who die in comics don’t stay dead. Except Uncle
Ben and Gwen Stacy. I defy you to honestly find someone
else. But either way. Giving the world a corporate
Batman and get us a Japanese Batman and a British Batman
and a Irish Batman and a French Batman is stupid. Just
plain stupid, with a capital S. It’d be like making the
last son of Krypton have a cousin and a dog and a clone
and a whole bottle city…oh wait. Bad example. It’d be
like having Spider-man give up his marriage to Mary Jane
by dealing with the devil…oh wait. Another bad example.
It’d be like…you know
what, it’s not worth it. There are a million bad
examples here. It’s comics. That’s what they do. But we
love them anyway because next month they might get
better. But here we are: how can a French Batman ever be
a good idea? I mean, honestly? Batman fighting crime
under the Eiffel Tower? Eff that crap.
Batman works best as a
character in shadow. And bringing him into the public
eye after forcing the readers to read awful stories
about his comeback is just insult to injury. So here we
are, a year or so later, and Bruce Wayne is back.
And all I care about is
when the hell can I see a pure version of Batman again:
like the Arkham Asylum video game sequel or the Dark
Knight sequel. |
