Cinema Crazed

Buy This Film

2003

Rated: R for graphic violence, torture, graphic language, nudity, and strong sexual content.

Genre: Horror Comedy

Directed By: Christian Viel

Running Time: 1:18

Review by: Felix Vasquez Jr.

Review Date: 12/17/06

Special Features:
None

EVIL BREED: THE LEGEND OF SAMHAIN

Let me tell you folks, there’s stupid horror, and then there’s stupid horror. Films like “Evil Aliens” is stupid horror but stupid horror that manages to entertain its audience in shameless gore, and rollicking graphic sex, but then there’s “Samhain” which is just stupid. And then when you think it can’t get stupider, it surprises you. Take for example the constant jump scares that fail. And the odd cameo from Richard Greico. All I could do was stir in my seat with the constant horrifying realization: This came from ThinkFilm?!

I sat through “Samhain” wondering when the director would pan out and show us that the real film was just about to begin, and the first twenty minutes were just a giant red herring to throw its audience off guard like “He Knows You’re Alone.” Alas, there was no such revelation and I was so depressed. The director and writer seem to be aware this is nothing but shitty C horror, and they play it out on the screenplay, and it fails because it’s too self-aware. Take for example our main character who recites a long monologue lifted directly from “Scream,” a reference otherwise played out, but just plain ridiculous here. Haw haw, they’re making references to past horror films, how original! They’re examining their settings and comparing them to a horror film, how innovative!

And then there’s the cast that plays like a who’s who of has been’s. Look Richard Grieco! Is it 1989? Look Jenna Jameson is pretending to be a college student! Hey, she’s cute, but no way in hell can you convince me she’s in her early twenties. Director Vail even pulls a “Wrong Turn” by prominently featuring a character (Jameson) who is only featured in what could be considered a cameo. Wow, Ginger Lynn Allen’s Irish accent is horrible. And let’s not forget the direction, which looks like the man at the wheel was drunk.

There’s a slow motion prompt for someone sitting up in their sleep, a drawn out scene of Grieco armless and roasting on an open fire, and the poorly edited kills. How many obvious horror set-ups can you squeeze in only ninety minutes? Let’s go into that cottage, let’s explore the woods, let’s go into the creepy house, let’s walk around the hallway scaring each other, let’s call out to one another, let’s explore a lot, my friends are missing I’ll venture deep into the woods to find them instead of calling the authorities. Acknowledging your film sucks with vain irony only works if the film is worth watching. “Samhain” just collapses in on itself.

Someone vomited on celluloid, and “Samhain” was created from it. It’s stupid, it’s idiotic, and it’s joyless, but that seems to be the basic appeal with “Samhain.” That and watching Jenna Jameson appear for a total of two minutes and get all the credit.

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