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STUPID TEENAGERS
MUST DIE!
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Much like “Hatchet,” if you can ignore the fact that it’s a candy horror film (meaning no real value beyond simple satisfaction), then you’ll enjoy yourself. This is the type of films that created our Midnight Cinema movie going nature. This is the type of movie you’d see playing in a Cineplex with “Hell House,” while you and your friends watched in hysterics gorging popcorn, and for that it simply must build a cult following. “Stupid Teenagers Must Die” is yet another slasher flick about young kids arriving at a house for a Halloween party who accidentally unleash an old serial killer (don’t you hate when that happens?), and find the body count rising as the night wears on. Smith also manages to tread over the common law of the slasher sub-genre; the characters who commit the sins of pre-marital sex, ignorance, and basic vanity will die and this killer is there as a reminder of the sins they’ve committed in the abode they crash Halloween night. Oh yes, and this sets down in the eighties, a time of pure evil. I couldn’t have said this better myself.
Who wouldn’t love the token geek going crazy at every noise? Who doesn’t love the lesbians who never take their hands off each other? And the one-liners are utterly classic! As usual, this slasher is a whodunit with the possibility of either a ghostly murderer, or someone within the group committing these murders, and whom ever it is, boy does the blood flow. In usual slasher fashion that made this slasher freak revel in glee, the house is basically the primary setting for these young teens to confront the monster. People turn on one another, secrets are revealed, and two geeks are tied into a chair forced to withstand the whole harrowing incident, how can you not enjoy something like this? In actuality, this film is really made on a low, low budget so low that there are almost no real technical prowess injected into this, but that’s hardly a caveat. Smith is just here to entertain us and remind us of the sheer stupidity that littered theaters in the decade of the slasher; what else can you ask for?
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As a guilty pleasure, Jeff C. Smith’s slasher film is really just
nothing more than a throwback to the grand era of slasher flicks: the
eighties. And while lately I’ve grown absolutely tired of the eighties
chic spree that infests pop culture, “Stupid Teenagers Must Die!” really
isn’t a film that wore thin after a while. I’m pretty sure that’s due to
the fact that the film is really just a little over an hour, so that
helps compact the bullshit and bring in what the director really pushes
for. He wants a slasher flick filled with blood and gore and stupid
teenagers dying. There’s nothing more to this movie than that premise.
Going in expecting excellent performances and great tension is really
just a waste of energy that’s not worth your time.
With a title like “Stupid Teenagers Must Die!” you’re not going to get
“Citizen Kane,” but instead you’ll have a film intended for a Friday
night movie marathon with friends, filled with tongue in cheek humor,
great one liners, over the top performances, and a premise that’s so
ridiculously simplistic but fun. This will live on in cult heaven, for
that is its fate.
