To me the only thing worse than a bad movie is a bad comedy movie. I don't mind bad action or horror films, and sometimes I don't mind bad dramas, but a bad comedy is a crime, because they're telling jokes and we're cringing. The only thing "Taxi" really succeeds in is making me groan and cringe at every truly ludicrous and utterly ridiculous
joke and gag that's mustered up and falls flatter than a deflated ball. And boy do the writers here try to push every single known gag here! It's horrible.

There is the non-stop bickering between the sassy black woman and the dorky white guy, there's the near fight between them in an alleyway, there's a ridiculous scene where they're stuck in a room with Nitrous gas and begin laughing and arguing. It's a scene done with more effect in better movies, but is incredibly sloppy here, and there's even--yes you guessed it--a scene where the two mismatched partners begin singing to a bad Motown song! How utterly original! Don't pretend I ruined anything for you, because the movie is ruined already. Either way, this cheesy horrible comedy stars Queen Latifah as an incredibly unlikable character who is a taxi driver, and Jimmy Fallon who is an incredibly obnoxious dorky cop.

You wonder how cops like the one depicted in this ever manage to graduate from the force and not get fired, but it happens here. And--shockingly--Fallon makes it through the movie without cracking a smile! How about that. Let me just say Fallon was the most unlikable member of the "SNL" troupe since Colin Quinn, and in spite of his occasional hits (The Wisconsin Kids) Fallon was just a cast member who couldn't even find his shtick even after he left. Fallon is ultimately a faux Sandler, and a wannabe comedian. And neither of which are flattering comparisons when put in to the grand scheme, because Fallon doesn't have any talent. He's this dorky white guy who persists in this act for every movie he's in, and he does so in this. As for the film itself, it's nice looking, but that's like saying "The food sucked, but the plate was nice to look at".

Tim Story has no clue how to fit this film together and it just goes on twenty minutes too long. It's nearly two hours and through this time we must sit through these ridiculous  sequences like Latifah's character driving this insane taxi. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't taxi's rented from the company and not actually owned, and if she does own it, why doesn't she sell it and get a better job? She's given this ridiculous motor from her bike messenger friends (who knew bike messengers could afford such a large motor) and uses it in her business. For what? Who knows? But it gives us an excuse to sit through a ridiculous opening scene where she speeds an uptight business man to an airport.

What's worse is, she speeds through the streets without running anyone over, crashing in to people, experiencing traffic, or being pulled over? Give me a break. How can someone poor enough to drive a taxi afford to a) detail a taxi with amazing space age technology, and b) be able to dine in expensive restaurants? Are people stupid enough to believe this? So we're given two characters paired together that have zero chemistry, and the comedy between them is incredibly clunky. For example, the scene in the alley which was so stupid. What makes this different from every other stupid mis-matched buddy flick? That it boasts a quasi-Sandler and overrated Latifah? I don't see the appeal there. And Jennifer Esposito, I feel very bad for you. First "Master of Disguise" and now this? Babe, I feel bad for your career, and if you need a shoulder to cry on, by all means, consider me.

The sub-plot with Esposito's character is relegated to spouting clichés a normal police chief would, and the villains here are incredibly under-used. We're supposed to believe that this group of women can go in on mid-day and rob a bank. Five women in a BMW can go in under the cover of mid-day and rob a bank without attracting attention, and director Story makes it a point to show the audience "These are really hot women" as we witness them tearing their clothes off in slow motion during three long sequences. I won't bother to talk about the horrible acting we must endure from them. And what exactly are the psychotic supermodels plot of evil, other than "they robbed a bank"? It's never explained, and this shrill comedy stumbles on, for what literally seemed like forever. Everything in the plot takes a backseat to the "antics" and "comedy" between Fallon and Latifah. Problem is, none of it is ever funny. I'd love to see the original to compare and contrast. I'm sure it's not as bad as this.

The writers and director force down our throat: "He's a dorky white guy, she's a sassy black woman! How hilarious!" But the message doesn't get through at all. This is a very bad comedy, with just the kit and caboodle of material needed for a bad movie.

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