Dirty Love (2004)

55Hey Jenny McCarthy, it’s cute you want to take after your hero Lucille Ball, and it’s cute you have aspirations of being funny, but stop. Can you do that for me? Stop trying, and go away. Go away and live on whatever royalties you’re getting from your days on MTV. You’re not hot when you’re farting everywhere, and you never were. You’re not funny, and you never will be. I appreciate your willingness to pretend you’re outrageous, but why do you keep making a fool of yourself? It’s really embarrassing. “Dirty Love” is sad, only because it’s the last efforts of a failed comedienne to show audiences how “quirky” and “outrageous” she can be, and she does this by making a really bad movie.

Seriously, this is really bad. Think I’ve stressed it enough? You should know by now, if you had any talent, that comedy is not having no shame, but having the dignity to have no shame. McCarthy has always reached for the “I’m the next Lucille Ball” trophy ever since her appearance on “Singled Out” on MTV way back when, and through two horrible comedy shows, and bad comedies, she’s shown that she’s far from anything resembling Lucille Ball, she’s not even Thelma Ball. Jenny, you’re not funny, you’re not clever, and you’re talentless. So it’s no surprise you surround yourself around people like Kathy Griffin and Carmen Elektra in this, because there’s that birds of a feather rule after all.

As for “Dirty Love” there was nothing I could find that made me laughed. I found it to be a demanding endeavor if there ever was one. This makes “Gigli” look Dickensian. “Dirty Love” is so awful it can’t even be considered bad, because everything about this production reaches new heights of utterly pitiful, I couldn’t comprehend it. McCarthy’s philosophy of comedy involves her farting, running around the streets screaming “Oh my god!” to people with smeared mascara, and getting into a slapping fight with a flirtatious man who happens to have a wife.

And to top it off, Carmen Elektra plays an almost offensively stereotypical black girl, Eddie Kaye stumbles around bored, and everyone has a clear awareness that the film they’re in sucks hard. Yet, McCarthy never seems to have that sentiment. She just seems to think she’s giving us comedy gold, and that she’s a hilarious comedy tour de force, but she’s not. This film was hard to sit through, it was tougher than “Gigli” and it’s sad that McCarthy hasn’t quite gotten the hint. McCarthy is still not funny, never was, never will be. She’s the hot blonde who can’t quite grasp that she’s untalented, so she continues punishing us with that fact by creating junk like “Dirty Love” which is an utterly awful film. Give it up, McCarthy, please? Go away and stop appearing in public. Goes to show, independent doesn’t always mean good.