Undiscovered (2005)

undiscovered-2005So by the logic present here, if you take a picture with a huge star, you will, in effect, become one yourself. Wondering what the hell this movie is? You’re not alone. It’s not a big coincidence “Undiscovered” has been undiscovered by almost every movie goer in America. It’s a piece of crap. Pure and simple. I mean, can you really expect quality from a film that’s relied on a steady campaign of “It stars Ashlee Simpson” to get the word out about the production? Yes, “Undiscovered” is a horrible movie, and for many reasons. But one of the reasons is that it’s so utterly insulting, even as a fairytale of stardom.

An aspiring musician who plays mostly in seedy clubs, is sexually approached by a model who kisses him on-stage and takes a picture with him. This, somehow, makes the musician a huge star. Why? Well, according to “Undiscovered,” the model is just so damn popular anyone she touches becomes gold to the masses. What the hell do we need publicists for with this sort of power, anyway? Screw it, tomorrow I’m taking a picture with Donald Trump. “Undiscovered” has the particular honor of being a truly bland and awfully convoluted music oriented story that’s never afraid to be shameless.

There’s trite dialogue about destiny and fate, there’s our struggling musician who becomes a prick once he reaches stardom, and there’s our director flaunting Ashlee Simpson. She sings, she hogs the screen, and she has zero charisma, which would explain her lack of film roles recently, even after the surgery. “Undiscovered” really is a horrible movie, and it expects us to follow the lives of two utterly lifeless characters. One is an aspiring actress who also models, and the other is the musician whose life experiences a magical transformation after being pictured with a model.

Shannyn Sossamon tests my patience further, while Carrie Fisher is wasted as an agent who talks Pell James’ character down every ten minutes serving as a guidance counselor of love. James is an appealing actress, but her performance paired with her bland character Brier really doesn’t make her worth rooting for. She’s a vapid presence based solely around the character Luke, while Steven Strait is the epitome of dull. “Undiscovered” really has nothing going for it. It’s a cheap, and contrived attempted vehicle that rightfully failed. There’s really nothing to “Undiscovered” but horrible acting, terrible writing, a truly trite script, and two wholly vapid leads. Some movies just deserve to be tucked away into obscurity. This is one of those movies.