Justice League of America (1997)

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The nineties were filled with an almost endless stream of pretty bad comic book adaptations. From the awfully boring “Generation X” that featured a goofy Matt Frewer doing his best Joker impression to a bunch of interchangeable teen superheroes, the ridiculous “Fantastic Four” which while strictly a cult movie in the comic underground, was a pure travesty, to the utterly abysmal “Batman Forever” and “Batman and Robin,” we saw it all, and most of it was things we wish we wouldn’t have. And then there’s “Justice League of America.” Boy oh boy. The problem with this product is that it’s not awful as it is unintentionally ridiculous, and while the cast tries their damndest, we can never get past the horrible costumes, and the terrible special effects.

In the end, it’s not so much a superhero show as it is another spin off of “Power Rangers,” and that’s not very faithful to the dignity of the source material. “JLA” was originally supposed to be a pilot and proposed series for CBS a little before the time of hit reality shows and the revamping of the network. For good reason, it never blossomed into a full series, and it became nothing more than a hard to find comic convention treasure simply for being so bad, bad in the sense of “Nick Fury: Agent of Shield” starring Hasselhoff. Of course years later, a highly superior and adult animated series took its place on cable television, and “JLA” continued its life as obscurity. What is so bad about “Justice League of America”?

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Much like the comic book adaptations before the big surge in the millennium, the concept just wasn’t taken seriously at all. Our heroes are dressed in ill fitted, grotesque costumes, and the plot is filled with high camp with the usual players of B grade entertainment present. For some reason “Justice League of America” begins with confessionals a la reality shows that feature interviews with our respective characters like Barry Allen AKA the Flash, and Guy Gardner who should by all rights be Hal Jordan. But listing him as Guy Gardner allows them to go with the pre-requisite edge and angst that the actual bowl haired blond antithesis possesses, as opposed to Hal’s nobility.

“Justice League of America” is  horrible for many reasons and one of them is that it’s just so unusual. Whether as the horrible and unscary villain called “The Weather Man,” to Atom literally playing limbo with a red laser beam, to Guy singing opera to his girlfriend over dinner, the pilot just never knows how to approach this material. The fact that people like Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman are missing would be forgivable if the actual characters we’re given were at all interesting. And it takes an enormous feat to render folks like Ray Palmer and Barry Allen completely vapid and uninteresting. Every character is so utterly broad in their characterization, and the creators take constant cues from the likes of “Power Rangers.”

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Our characters spout horrible dialogue, dress in the colors of their costumes all the time, follow the usual diversity pattern, and they each have their own watch that signals their assembly during a horrible attack. These “horrible attacks” are usually in the length of Guy preventing a power pole from falling on a kid with the light from his power ring (that looks like green ooze in computer graphics), while the Atom is reduced to saving a cat stuck under a satellite dish. Seriously. And when they’re not dressed in their laughable costumes, we’re dragged through endless interviews with the characters that is supposed to act as characterization which is where the writers fail ultimately.

Rather than exploring the individuals in their environment and going from there, we just have to have our hands held while they tell us everything about themselves. The writers seem to attempt a deeper glimpse into being a superhero, but it just comes off as goofy, especially with the blatant plugs to other CBS series inserted in the background and dialogue. And how do they change into their costumes so quickly? Why doesn’t Guy’s girlfriend notice he’s the Green Lantern, especially when they look pretty much the same, mask or no mask? Why is Martian Manhunter mostly reduced to playing Charlie with the group as his Angels?

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Why does he have a beer gut? Who the hell is interviewing these heroes? Nothing here has any cogent explanation. It’s just all so listless and lethargic. I think even as a child I wouldn’t have enjoyed this very much. As a movie it’s awful, and as a series it’s just another in many horrible comic adaptations of the nineties with no hope of really rising above abysmal. But with the upcoming movie in and out of production, there may be hope yet. The animated series is still the way to go. Who knows? Maybe a big budget movie with the right production crew will add a respectful touch to the comic book series.

Or we’ll end up with another “Fantastic Four”: Big budget, little quality. Just please, keep Jessica Alba far away.