Nude Nuns with Big Guns (2010)


Director Joseph Guzman’s ode to the grindhouse devices of the seventies is an admirable and often times entertaining take on nunsploitation while also delving in the realms of sexploitation, and revenge fare. Ever since “Grindhouse” indie directors have constantly attempts to mimic the same gloss and nods Tarantino and Rodriguez strived for and–as I’ve seen–many indie directors have pulled it off. Some of them, like Guzman, do it even better than the alleged master filmmakers ever did. Because unlike the former pair, the indie directors have little to work with, and must rely on creativity where budget fails. “Nude Nuns with Big Guns” is not so much a nunsploitation film as it is a Southern fried take on Bo Arne Vibenius’ classic “Thriller a Cruel Picture.”

It’s the story of a hapless nun who is found with a chunk of sought after coke during a mule operation and is nearly killed. Surviving somehow, she is kidnapped by the drug cartel, and forced in to a life of drugs and prostitution. Much like Frigga in “Thriller.” Supplying a hefty dose of surrealism and classic grindhouse camp, “Nude Nuns” makes quick work of its exposition and becomes a very steadily paced and intense revenge thriller where its heroine Sister Sarah goes on a mission from god to wreak havoc on all sinners. Some of them completely sought out to destroy her, and others are simply pointed at by her odd visions, she is convinced is God.

Asun Ortega is fantastic as Sister Sarah, the sexy but insanely unhinged and psychotic nun whose own belief in a higher power is about as genuine as her sisterhood, but soon becomes a believer once she escapes the clutches of death. Clocking in at barely ninety minutes, Guzman’s generous run time benefits the revenge thriller as he makes Sister Sarah a wonderful anti-hero for the neo-grindhouse movement all the while adding his favorite elements from the sub-genre including rape, girl on girl, the defiling of chaste nuns, and a group of mad bikers, all led by the conniving Chavo, played skillfully by David Castro. A highlight of the production, Castro is delightfully despicable as the monstrous Mexican who has a score to settle with Sister Sarah and takes pleasure in making others as miserable as humanly possible.

“Nude Nuns” is within its core sleaze at its finest, an unadulterated exercise in sexual carnage and a heroine who is never above sleeping with her victims before blowing their heads off. Guzman is a director finely tuned in to what makes nunsploitation such an interesting sub-sub-genre of the grindhouse movement making “Nude Nuns with Big Guns” a fun and demented revenge pic that will surely please any respecting grindhouse buff looking for a departure from the failure that was “Grindhouse.” While not perfect, “Nude Nuns with Big Guns” is an entertaining and slick nunsploitation revenge film. Asun Ortega is delightfully sexy and deranged as Sister Sarah and director Joseph Guzman created a grindhouse effort that’s to be admired by all respective grindhouse sub-genre buffs.