To be honest, I’m not even sure how to approach this film in any critical sense. The movie opens with character Angie emerging from a pool and narrating the movie. But–is she a narrator? Or a host? Is this supposed to spoof reality show, or is this an actual story? Director Jim Wynorski (as Sam Pepperman) can never really seem to care at all, so he basically just throws whatever sticks to the wall, and distracts us for seventy five minutes with soft core scenes of busty women being drilled, and busty women having sex with other busty women.
There’s really only about thirty minutes of “story” here (what qualifies as such), while the rest is nothing but strip scenes and sex scenes. Director Wynorski (as Sam Pepperman) can never decide if this is a reality show or just a meta-narrative, so there are picture in picture pop ups of girls discussing their competition during sex scenes, there’s a laugh track sprinkled throughout the movie, and for some reason the host of the show (the tasty Melessia Hayden) conducts the competition while character Angie narrates to the audience. I’m not really sure why we need two narrators for a movie bereft of actual story. But then these women are only Coeds and Cheerleaders based on the title alone. There’s never actually any cheering going on.
They spend most of the movie in a ranch house with a large pool, so there’s no exposition on why we want to see cheerleaders battling Coeds. Look at me over thinking this movie. Also if this is a reality show competition, where the heck are the cameras, and crew? Oh who cares? Kylee Nash returns once again, taking on the character of Tiffany Nightsprings, a very busty young girl with an apparently solid spine, who is suspected of taking breast enlargement pills to help her win. I’m not sure what these women are supposed to be winning. I’m assuming money. Let’s say money. There’s an executive named Dean Martin who hires a gorgeous blond named Janet to blackmail the contestants and dig up dirt on them. Only in a Wynorski (as Sam Pepperman) film does a job interview with a gorgeous women end in rough sex on an office desk.
In either case, her work is successful as she infiltrates the competition, sleeps with a few of the women, and spots their top secret academic competitions that include pole dancing, and measuring breast size every morning. Kylee Nash who dons the biggest bust of the entire cast spend the last half of the movie flashing her chest non-stop, so Wynorski (as Sam Pepperman) at least destroys any pretense of restraint by the half hour mark. Not that I’m complaining. “Busty Coeds vs. Lusty Cheerleaders” is a movie completely invincible to bad reviews. If you hate it then its job is done. If you enjoy it then at least director Wynorski didn’t completely waste his time, in the end. And gawking at Kylee Nash is never a waste of time, fool.