Lake Placid vs. Anaconda (2015) (DVD)

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If you wanted Lake Placid vs. Anaconda, damn it all it’s what you get with this new crossover. Like most films of this ilk, you’re mainly tuning in to watch a lot of really obnoxious characters die brutal deaths, it’s just a shame a lot of it is off screen. Perhaps that’s because this is primarily a TV movie, but I was disappointed to see a lot of the deaths were cut aways and mostly kept sanitary; when you have a giant crocodile and giant snake chomping down on gorgeous sorority girls, that’s just downright criminal. With a movie like this you can’t expect a masterpiece, and oddly enough I went in to it with rock bottom expectations. Did that mean it pleased me proficiently? Not really.

I don’t know, but these kinds of movies are just cheap cash ins, and that’s what this movie feels exactly like. I don’t know many fans each of the franchises have, but for the most part, the Anaconda and giant alligator don’t battle until the very end. For the duration of the movie we watch Yancy Butler running around trying to prevent people from being eaten, while the giant alligator and snake do what they do best: Terrorize and snack. The special effects are on par with what you’d find with most of these movies, and they’re adequate for the most part. This time around a scientific group has captured both the anaconda and giant alligator, and using the blood orchid, they alter their DNA’s in hopes of producing more of their kind. The giant Alligator awakens from his slumber though, and begins wreaking havoc across the lake placid, all the while his slithery contemporary is also having a good time wrapping around and devouring people.

The movie sets up a lot of cannon fodder with a game and wildlife team investigating the accident, a father and son hunting team scouring the woods for game, and to add a little spice, there’s a giant group of sorority girls prone to hazing that are at the lake. The film references both franchises with a lot of lip service paid to previous films, and Robert Englund even shows up for a walk on as a hunter who helped catch the alligator on the lake. It’s a shock such a giant alligator is able to sneak around without being spotted, but surely enough it’s able to hide under beds, in lakes and behind trees. The first “Lake Placid” made it impossible for it to be remotely stealth. But I don’t apply logic to a film this silly. For the most part it succeeds in cheesy C grade “so bad it’s good” horror, with a lot of irritating characters getting their just deserts. I just wish there was more splatter to color the film along the way.