Dinosaur Valley Girls (1996)

DVG“Dinosaur Valley Girls” is a film I remember watching in the days of cable TV when it was a haven for bad films. Much of the nostalgia flashes back with what is a guilty pleasure that revolves around boobs and hammy acting. Tony Marco, an actor tired with the monotony of a mansion, fame, a gorgeous sex starved girlfriend, and a mistress, finds himself wanting more in life. Who could ask for anything more, eh? Well, for Tony, he desires much more, something more down-to-Earth, and natural—especially now that he’s haunted by dreams of a blonde cave woman.

Don Glut’s “Dinosaur Valley Girls” composes it as more of an homage to the old days of drive-in films rather than a straight faced adventure. Glut’s adventure film is just novel entertainment that has to be enjoyed on the level of an Ed Wood, or Russ Meyer film. The director has his head in the right place, and proves it by casting the ubiquitous Karen Black as the leader of the cave women, and the icon William Marshall as a scientist. Both actors hog the credits, and still give considerably wooden performances, particularly from Marshall who looks awfully sleep deprived.

Sadly, Glut then seems to lose sight of his entire premise by dropping character Tony down onto this prehistoric land and into an utterly bland war of the sexes between the primitive cave men and the alluring cave women who separated into their own colony after too much abuse from their counterparts. Too often Glut takes pages from “Cave Man” featuring many drawn out sequences of individual cavemen speaking in their grunts and growls. One redeeming quality is that Glut unapologetically parades the cave women endlessly basing their characterization around bouncing topless into water, next to water, and pretty much around water.

Thankfully, Glut’s direction is pretty eye-catching, with the predictably low-tech special effects, even if he kind of hobbles his movie with a narrative. When “Dinosaur Valley Girls” isn’t taking itself too seriously, though, it’s a fun piece of schlock with enough T&A to keep the audience at full attention.