God’s Not Dead 2 (2016)

godsnotdead2“When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.”

There’s a war on Christianity. Atheists are evil. Atheists lack hope. Atheists are atheist because they’re in a lot of pain. Atheists don’t want you to practice religion. It’s immoral to demand religion not be preached in public schools. “God’s Not Dead 2: Delusion Boogaloo” is the sequel to the painfully moronic surprise hit of 2014 where evangelical Christians bathed in the pools of their own martyrdom and victim complex for two hours. “God’s Not Dead 2” is another orgy of delusion and martyrdom that stretches the truth about evangelical Christianity, further depicting an alternate reality where evangelical Christianity is equivalent to being a Morlock. Evangelical followers of Christianity are misunderstood by a lost society littered with conniving atheists that just won’t let them say “Merry Christmas,” gosh darn it.

In one of many depictions of protests I could not help laughing at every time it popped up, Christian students of protagonist Grace silently sit outside the courtroom as a show of support. All the while a whole group of atheist protestors stand two feet away holding up signs and screaming at them. These atheist monsters are filmed with quick cuts and without sound, emphasizing how monstrous and evil they are for attacking young women displaying their right to protest. See? Complete alternate reality. Melissa Joan Hart plays Grace Wesley a well meaning history teacher who is chastised and crucified by her school for making a very quick literary comparison in class between Gandhi and Jesus Christ.

When she’s reported, the den of atheist vipers known as the PTA and ACLU begin to look for ways to strike her down for making a seemingly passive contrast of figures with similar ideals. When Grace won’t apologize for speaking he who shall not be named in a public school, she has to stand trial and put her faith to the test. “God’s Not Dead 2” is kind of a brilliantly manipulative movie that relies a lot on subliminal visual cues to sway their audience’s emotions. There are a ton of mentions of Salvation Army, there’s Jesse Metcalfe, who gives a piss poor performance as a young atheist lawyer assigned to defend Grace. When we first meet him, he’s disheveled, unshaven, and a bit slovenly.

And did I mention he’s a condescending ass? “You pitiful Christian maggot, I mock your value system and scoff in your direction conveying a sense of superiority. Pshaw.” But naturally as the film progresses he becomes more and more of a believer and by the time the film ends he’s a well dressed, clean shaven, and kept up lawyer. Ray Wise (known all over pop culture for playing slime balls on TV and film) plays the evil atheist/opportunist of the film who gazes deviously at everyone, considers every idea of morality as an opportunity to make money. He even wears a red tie most of the time. See… red is bad. Like devil, bad. Ray Wise played the devil once in a cult TV show, did I not mention that?

Not only is “God’s Not Dead 2” just stupid, but it’s providing its devout audience with information that could be potentially hazardous to their health. In easily the worst bit of nonsense depicted in the film, Amy, a character diagnosed with cancer in the first film finds out that she is in remission. She’s happy and the Christian rock band from the first film, are happy for her, because prayer helped. Forget the doctors, and medical science, but prayer helped ward her cancer away making her a true believer. So if it’s not made clearly enough in the film, if you or someone you love is dying from cancer, they’re just not a good enough Christian. You only have yourself to blame, all you small children in terminal wards across the world.

“God’s Not Dead 2” was released on April 1st, 2016. Without a hint of irony.