Snatched (2017)

This trend of comedies involving multi-generations where younger actors and or comedians team up with older actors and or comedians has worn thin. Seth Rogen and Barbara Streisand, Zac Efron and Robert DeNiro, I get it, it’s not funny. “Snatched” is another in a line of this growing sub-genre, where we spend ninety minutes noting how old one character is and how young the other is. Will they ever get along? Will they reach a firm understanding and common ground? Of course they’ll learn to love one another by the time the movie ends, and there will be some kind of self-sacrifice, and we’ll probably get a sequel. This time around it’s Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn, both of whom have zero chemistry. They have so little chemistry it’s unpleasant. Their chemistry and lack thereof derives no laughs in what is a joyless sitcom that transforms in to a dark comedy about kidnapping, torture, xenophobia, third world countries, and human trafficking.

No please, stop, my sides are splitting from the laughs. Watch as Goldie Hawn looks through a porn magazine pretending its literature to keep from panicking after being kidnapped. Choke on your bile as Hawn’s doting hapless victim is threatened with a live skinning by one of her kidnappers in front of her daughter. Oh, what fun. “Snatched” is another in a line of Amy Schumer vehicles where she, once again, plays a drunken slacker named Emily, who doesn’t take life seriously. She slurs through most of her dialogue, and tries her best to be outrageous, all for a one dimensional protagonist who isn’t even likable even when she redeems herself in the finale. After being dumped by her boyfriend, lazy Emily drags her mother Linda along with her on a trip to South America. After wooing a local hunk, Emily and Linda are kidnapped by gang members and held for ransom.

Now with no one left to help them beside her agoraphobic brother and an apathetic federal agent, Emily and Lisa do whatever they can to escape. This involves running through the jungle, and bickering, and murdering people. This is supposed to be a goofy buddy comedy that doubles as a pay vacation for Schumer and Hawn, all the while they do nothing but exchange empty palaver that’s supposed to count as hilarious dialogue. We’re supposed to be watching the exchange of comedy between a new generation comedienne and an old generation comedienne, but it ends up being white noise. It’s droning, pointless words spewing from a paper thin script. I’m not sure what amount of dialogue they mumble to one another is supposed to be improvised, but neither Schumer nor Hawn can ever actually accomplish at leas an accidental laugh.

Even the big scene of Emily being caught cleaning her vagina in a bathroom goes on too long and lands with a thud. “Snatched” sports all the racial stereotypes you can chalk up without none of the laughter, and half the time doesn’t even seem to know if it’s aware of how ridiculous it’s being or not. There’s the vicious drug cartel, the inept federal agents, the kindly third world locals, and even a scene involving a tape worm that Schumer and Hawn deliver with the comic competence of a community theater duo. I’m not sure who “Snatched” is supposed to be aimed at, as it’s much too dark and violent to be considered a comedy for moms and daughters, and way too silly to be taken as a dark comedy. It’s just a really awful vehicle for Schumer and Hawn who get outshined by Wanda Sykes most of the time.