The 5 Worst Films I Saw in 2021

I didn’t offer up best or worst of lists in 2020, mainly because I spent all of December fighting off COVID. I was sick as a dog but thanks to Phil Hall and Emilie Black for keeping the site chugging along like a well oiled machine!

In either case, 2021 was sadly hard enough to keep up with, what with there now being at least five or six new movies released every week on twelve streaming services (and in theaters) in America. In either case, opting for less cynicism (and because I subconsciously avoided a lot of movies that I thought would stink, sue me) this year, this is five of the worst movies of 2021.

5. Kid 90
Directed by:
Soleil Moon Frye
Streaming on Hulu
In an effort to promote her (failed) “Punky Brewster” reboot and push her career forward, former child star Soleil Moon Frye brings us this stale and frankly exploitative look at her childhood. Moon Frye spends a lot less time focusing on her own troubles, and steps back to explore the tragic fates of her friends, many of whom were child stars, and doomed to be devoured by Hollywood. “Kid 90” is downright awful, gross, opportunistic junk, from a woman who seems puts her friends on display as a means of looking down on them, rather than recollecting their good spirits.

4. F9
Directed by:
Justin Lin
You could argue that the whole point of this series by now is that it’s so unbelievably ridiculous, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. “F9” is filled with plot holes, endless questions about past films, and seems to exist only to fulfill fans’ memes about the group going in to space. I mean for eight films we’re given the impression Dom only had his little sister, but suddenly there’s a Brother? Why did Brian allow Mia to risk life and limb for the mission? What’s with Charlize Theron’s cereal bowl haircut? “F9” is a loud, ridiculous, and absolutely dull penultimate film in the series that is, yes, setting up two spin off movie series’ for Dominic and Cipher. Ooooh, I’m dyyy-in’!

3. The Woman in the Window
Directed by:
Joe Wright
Streaming on Netflix
This is a movie that has so much potential from the starting gate. The cast is superb, the tension is there, Danny Elfman composes, Amy Adams is a wonderful actress, and the setting is unique. However, it all gradually but surely transforms in to an incoherent, overlong, frankly embarrassing mess. It’s a thriller about mental illness, then a thriller about domestic abuse, then turns in to a horror drama about grief and guilt, then it becomes a slasher, and finally a movie about obsession. It hurts to see so much talent wasted for such disposable nonsensical farce.

2. Thunder Force
Directed by:
Ben Falcone
Streaming on Netflix
I’ve about given up trying to get behind Melissa McCarthy as an actress and comedy star. Especially when she willingly stars in unwatchable nonsense like “Thunder Force”; it’s a movie that pretends to satirize the sub-genre, but really is just a superhero comedy that fails on every single level. McCarthy chews up the scenery and does everything she can to push her cast to the side, all while engaging in endlessly painful improv. “Thunder Force” should be instituted as a torture device. One second in to watching McCarthy eat raw chicken will make anyone crack.

1. Space Jam: A New Legacy
Directed by:
Malcolm D. Lee
Starring:
Warner Bros. Intellectual Properties
Streaming on HBO Max
Vapid. Dull. Tedious. Unpleasant. Long. Very Long. Way too Long. And kind of depressing, “Space Jam: A New Legacy” is the first in what I’m scared will become a trend in filmmaking. “A New Legacy” is a glorified infomercial literally made by a corporation promoting its streaming service under the facade of a kids’ film starring a popular sports star, and the Looney Tunes. While the original film was by no means a great film, it had so much more energy, enthusiasm, and charisma. “A New Legacy” drags, lags, and sags. The original also had respect for the Looney Tunes, while the producers here seem to openly hate them. This is a grueling experience and a follow up that should have never happened.