The 5 Worst Films I Saw In 1997

I loved 1997, warts and all. It was a really rough, difficult, but fun, and exciting year for me, so I remember it for the good and bad. I can be accused of wearing rose colored glasses for 1997 and in a way you’d be correct, but I just had so much fun that year. Even being forced to attend Summer School wasn’t that bad, when all was said and done.

In either case, these are five of the worst films I saw in 1997.

How was 1997 for you?

Spice World
There was this wild idea in 1997 that the Spice Girls were the new Beatles. So they gave them a movie like “A Hard Day’s Night.” Except… you know, boring. And stupid. And pointless. But hey, we at least got to ogle the Spice Girls for ninety minutes. And they have a good sense of humor about themselves.

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
I loved “Mortal Kombat.” I loved it. We went to see it in theaters, we bought the VHS, and we all wore that VHS out watching it ten times a week. “Annihilation” made a ton of promises, and it failed big time. Everything that has to be said about this awful movie has been said except: It’s worse than “Street Fighter: The Movie.” Seriously.

Batman and Robin
There’s Bat Ice Skates. And The Bat Credit Card. And Mr. Freeze smoking cigars in a freezer. And Barbara Pennyworth, niece of Alfred sans a British accent. There’s the convoluted plot to destroy Gotham. And Bruce and Robin bickering yet again about cars, and trusting one another. It nearly killed the comic book movie as we know it. Thank you for saving us, “Blade.”

An American Werewolf in Paris
A pseudo-sequel to Jon Landis’ horror classic, “In Paris” is a movie with great ideas pissed away with tonally confused direction, bad writing, awful acting, and even worse CGI. I admire their efforts to create this CGI werewolf, but hot damn does this stink. I’d love to see this remade someday.

I will die on this hill. Die, I say. James Cameron is ambitious. There’s no arguing that. But his historical romance is a snooze fest. It’s overlong, bloated, manipulative, tedious, and wastes two brilliant actors for what is the cinematic equivalent of a supermarket romance novel. Good on you if you enjoy this stinker, but I hate it more and more every time I think about it.