Mary Had a Little Lamb (2023)

It seems like every other year there’s an attempt to deliver fans a new “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” and like clockwork here comes “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” Centered on Uncork’d Entertainment’s initiative to offer genre films based on classic nursery rhymes, director Jason Arber and writer Harry Boxley really don’t do anything new or creative with the whole gimmick that his movie is centered on. It’s, in a nutshell, a beat for beat, condensed remake of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” but dropped down in to the UK. 

A radio host and her crew set out to discover the truth behind some disappearances for a true crime show. They will soon learn that there is far more to discover when they meet Mary and her lamb. Who will make it out alive of this house of horrors?

Truth be told there isn’t even a whole lot done with the “Mary Had a Little Lamb” gimmick, as the movie’s title doesn’t really dictate the entirety of the movie. Mary isn’t even the central character when all is said and done. “Mary Had a Little Lamb” feels like someone just had the nugget of an idea and tacked it on to Tobe Hooper’s horror classic and just called it a day. To make it worse there isn’t even a hint of self awareness or camp in the whole shebang as the movie is played primarily with a straight face.

Hell even the concept of a slasher with an animal head was done before, and with more effective scares, I might add. There’s a big difference between homage and straight up plagiarism and “Mary Had a Little Lamb” walk that fine line often stumbling in to the latter. Arber’s horror film runs out of steam after the first twenty minutes and literally feels like it’s treading water, even for a movie barely clocking in at eighty minutes. Nothing about the movie feels up to par with its campy gimmick as the sound design is sub-par, the pacing is off, and the climax completely drops the ball.

You assume even if the movie is a failure, that the writers would run with the central slasher, allowing the Lamb killer to take center stage, but the movie even fails in that respect. “Mary Had a Little Lamb” has a ton of potential that is squanders on cribbing from “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” wholesale.

Coming to Digital and DVD on October 3rd.